randomramblingstaketwo iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl i think i broke blather on my other attempt *cringes* please let this work 050714 ... a cringing IGG wooo i didn't break blather this time! thank god. and so i shall repost what i wrote under the other thing, so if it comes back on the other one then i apologise, but i figure i'll make all my mistakes at once, that way there appears to be less of them. *sighs* by the way this is directed at lemon_soda as a discussion page. sorry i can't fix the other one, anyway. from the other post; let the rambling begin! do we have to discuss anything very serious in this or are we more inclined to spout random stuff? because i am better at the latter, but hey, we should all learn new skills. i think i shall start with a suitably simple yet cliched question, one with which i can analyse the answer to a close degree and find out ALL your dark secrets! *grins* how was your childhood? 050714 ... Lemon_Soda Good lord, my child hood?!? Hmmmm... Okay, I was born in a mid sized central u.s. city to big for its britchs and lived a privilaged life in a quasi-mantion house on a main road. During this time I managed to get kicked out of kindergarten, jumped out of two story window(just to see what would happen) had a rather large piece of glass rammed through my foot, was raised in the mormon faith, got a metal plate in teh back of my head thanx to a accidental meeting with a railroad tie, and was absolutely in love with star wars. My father got screwed and was booted from his job so we moved to a small, pop 5000, in the middle of the country, onto a really neat farm with a dcaying house, garage, barn and forest full of abandoned machinery. During this time I "discovered" I had a deep connection to a wolf spirit and would run naked through my woods trying to catch rabbits. I also did horribley in school because of my ADD and because I wasn't really interested in the subject matter, I did not have alot of freinds. I was very lonely and turned to cigerettes, alchohol, drugs and various other things to gain exceptance with different crowds, and when that was enough I started cutting myself to release the emotion anguish and satiate the guilt I had at cheating against my faith. When I turned 13 I discovered acting and writing and drawing and things got a little better, but I still felt the need to run away from home, being spirtually squelshed. Throughout my childhood I have had over a hundred and fifty stitches, four freinds, and barely passing grades. I was the middle child in a large family and had to fight for any recognition what so ever. I was considered a "genius" at one time(though over what, I nor they knew) after my parents had me psychologically tested, and then sent to a shrink for about 2 years to fix me when they couldn't figure out why I didn't use it. I had always enjoyed reading fantastic tales like alice in wonderland and the Oz books, marktwain favorites and so on and had an exceptionally active imagination. Being overly rambunctios and inquistive I was told "no" several times everyday for most of my life and have developed a low personal drive and self esteem because of it. I "learned" how to act in different situations and to tell people what they wanted to hear to get through unschathed. One possitive aspect is the one thing my parents would always tell me was that I was very handsome, beautiful, etc all the time and kiss my forehead, and other people would say this to me to so now I am rather vain about my looks, though I try not to mention it outside of a joking manner. My older brothers were abusive, stapling my shirt to my back with a staple gun, smashing my hand iwth a shovel, farting in one end of a vaccum tube and then blowing it into my mouth as a i slept, and shooting me in the temple with a pellet pistol are just some examples. Oh yay, and a golf ball target. My younger brother I abused because thats what I was taught was excepatable, and I always had a really good time with my younger sister, who was alot like me. 050715 what's it to you? who go blather from