mom_and_dad Sonya Dear Mom and Dad, I'll never forget all that you've given up just so I could write these words right now. I'll never forget the sacrifices you made to come to a faraway country you didn't know in order to start new lives. I'll never forget all the hang-ups and sorrow you went through to keep Paul and me fed and safe at night. I'll never forget. The one thing that keeps me going on these dark days is the urge I have to make you proud. It's the need I feel to prevent myself from disappointing both of you that helps me to continue. You both want different things for me. Dad, you want me to be successful and prosperous. Mom, you want me to find love and experience all the experiences you never had as a young woman. Both of you want my safety and happiness so much that you sacrifice your own for it. It's not worth all of that! I know no matter what I say you will never put yourselves before me and I can't forgive myself for allowing you to do this day in and day out. I also know that when I have children some day I will follow in your footsteps in raising them and I will understand both of you better. I know you could have aborted me and perhaps you should have. Your financial burdens were ludicrous then and they still are now. And yet you kept me and welcomed me. I realize that I have become utterly selfish in my life by becoming cynical about a life I do not yet fully understand. Please know that I am on my way to understanding and it's taking awhile. My problems do not, will not, nor will they ever compare to the hardships both of you endured since your youth. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving me and disciplining me. Thank you for trying your hardest to give me all that is necessary for life. Mom, thank you for being there when I needed someone to listen to and for understanding the problems I now face as a young minority woman in this country. I have tried to balance the culture you brought with you, with the culture I've grown up with here, but sometimes I fail and I know this caused a lot problems in our family. Thank you for also reading the same books to me over and over when I was a toddler. It helped my future than you know. Dad, thank you for watching all of those movies with me when I needed cheering up. Thank you for taking me on all of those trips to see such wonderful sights even though you were short on time. Your efforts to be there are still vivid in my memories. Your determination and stamina astound me to this day. I can only hope I have the same amount of strength when I am your age. Thank you both for buying me that lavender bicycle for my birthday when I was 5 years old even though I didn't deserve it and it was far too extravagant. (I still remember how excited I was when I saw the white basket and those shimmering streamers sticking out of the handle bars.) We know how many times I skinned my knees and elbows because of it and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for teaching me to be good, just, and honest to everyone I encounter. I will try my best to adhere to your lessons for the rest of my life. I know I have disappointed you both many times, but I will never stop trying to adhere to your principles. You believed that despite the risk of failure we should always try our best and I carry this with me now. It has guided me through some of my darkest hours. I realize my depression, my sorrow, my fears, hangups, and outbursts didn't help either of you, and I know I am to blame for a lot of your worries. I cannot apologize because I know my apology cannot reverse what has been said or done in the past. Many times I witnessed your fights and realized that things weren't completely perfect in our family, but I know both of you always had my best interests at heart. There is one thing both of you gave to me that I may never be able to give back to you. By being who you are you gave me two people who I now aspire to be in various ways. Thank you for that because without you my motivation in life would not exist. Mom and Dad, I will die trying to make you proud. I will not let you down without at least trying, and I will never forget all that you are and all that you have done for me. I will not forget now, nor ever. As I prepare to make my mark in this chaotic world, I will always remember everything you ever taught me. Thank you Mom and Dad for giving me so many chances neither of you had at my age back in China and Thailand. Thank you for being insanely patient with me. We've had so many arguments, but I wouldn't trade either of you for anyone else as my parents. Your loving daughter, Sonya 011128 ... ClairE ...sounds too joined to me. Does that say something about my family? 011128 ... puredream I don't hate you right? right? ... 040610 ... stranger in a strange land Sonya has a beautiful heart if the words were sincere.. I wish her the best in life, love, and truth if the words were real. 040610 ... Connecting..the.dots.. ... are two seprate entities, their is no "and" 040610 ... kx21 * Appropriate_Relationship * - Mom and Dad... 040610 what's it to you? who go blather from