i_thought_about_control Christ without the cross I was talking to friends today and something hit me stronger than it ever did before. Of course i heard about it but it was never so clear, never so easily seen at a distance or up close. I thought about control. And how it seems unwanted. We esteem feelings that we can't control as if our lack of control makes those feelings real, as if it makes it more authentic. If we can't control it, then it is real. If it seems out of our hands then it is sacred. If we can't touch it or manipulate it or mold it, then it is valuable. So we build all our meaningful things out of lack not abundance. Maybe this is just me. I have a very unique mind. But why must things we can't control be more real? Why is it when we feel that we can't help but love somebody that makes the love greater than if we could? Does intent kill value? Does control minimize something in some way? What if when you claim that you can't help but love someone you are really declaring and controling that love? What if the only difference between what you control and what you don't is AWARENESS. For if you say you can't help it and you really can't help it isn't some part of you making that powerlessness desireable and thus choosing it all over again? Isn't some part of you choosing to be out of control? Maybe i have lost my mind. Or maybe I have found it, but why does control have to devalue a thing? Why can't it make it stronger? I choose to love. I may not always be aware that i am choosing something but does it mean that i am not? It has been said by many that our thoughts can change our perception, that the tongue can invite ruin. Why shouldn't we use it, willfully, to invite good. Why can't we intentionally love. Why can't we decide to take nothing anyone says personally and decide not to be hurt? Is it all out of our hands or is our lack of faith in the power that we have given us a watered down version of life? So i ask this question to anyone that reads this. If we gain control of every thought or feeling and thus create a life full of abundance and willfull intention will we lose the valuableness of life? Think about it. I am sure i am not the only crazy one. 061013 ... Chris aka Christ without the cross Why is fear so paralyzing in me. I can only be half of myself at times. This fear in me is holding me back. Preventing me from living. And all it seems to permit me to do is write it out or tell it to myself. No matter how much passion i have within me i cannot seem to break the chain. I manage to do it for small moments but the state of fearlessness when i am so full of fear is so fragile that i fall right back into it. I fall back into fear. There is so much i wish i could do. But fear prevents me from doing all of them. I feel powerless and out of control. I wish i could. I wish i had control over this and if i did i would probably be much happier. But i don't. Someday i will. 061014 ... Chris aka Control. It is funny that i am so obssessed with it but i can't seem to get it. I guess it is because i am still trying to do it. Trying rarely gets it done. I want to be. i want to BE in control. But maybe, maybe, if i relax, it will fall upon me. 061015 ... Jordan I found control Its the place between concious and sleep Where dreams are under your power and nothing can stop your pure mind but it's limited soon chaos looses love and then you're awake 061016 ... Chris aka i am not familiar with this place. I have no control over my dreams. 061016 ... unhinged but the thought left me as soon as i caught sight of you (but now with love) 061016 ... Jordan Worry when your dreams control you Worry when you can't sleep Worry when you can't dream But don't worry about your control Enjoy the chaos harmonized by love because love well, it controls all 061017 ... unhinged i cannot control how others feel about me i cannot control the weather i cannot control what others do i cannot control the interaction of all our decisions all i can control is what i say and do cultivate_compassion 061018 ... Jordan And with Compassion You will be loved and then the chaotic control Will overtake you 061018 ... Chris aka And how it seems to elude me. i don't think i want it anymore. 061019 ... Infinite Luv I have many times thought that I had control, but sometimes a sense of control is only a delusion. If I think I have control over my feelings, does that make it true? And if it is not true, then was it ever control? I have tried to control my conscious, and have done very well, but my subconscious seems to act on it’s on. Maybe it is my heart; it is independent of cognitive reasoning. And it tells me how I truly feel, through dreams and other unwanted channels. Can we ever fully control the subconscious? I have never felt so. To answer your question, maybe that which cannot be controlled is so powerful, because that which cannot be controlled…usually governs. 061020 ... Christ without the cross I been thinking about this. Maybe control is faith hope and love. This is the way i can understand God (who is a being of ultimate control) giving human beings free will. Why would he do such a thing? Obviously he must of known that we would make a mess of things. But i guess he just realized that force oppression was not control and was not love. That's why i do not think God would use force to coerce anyone into believing a certain thing. That's why i don't think God is bound to any book or any word or any single thing. That's why i think God gave free choice. Now i guess you would say that he lost control of the universe the day that he gave us freedom. I don't think so. God's will will be done even if it take trillions of years. I think by giving people control over their lives he gained complete control over himself. By letting go of any forced power i think he obtained the greatest power of all. He obtained unconditional love, unwavering faith, and imagineable hope for mankind. I am not sure what i am saying here but i believe that that would be ultimate control. A being that wishes only to control himself and gives everyone else perfect freedom. 061101 what's it to you? who go blather from