you_only_hide blown cherry So I keep watch and you keep breaking Breaking formation to become someone else And your eyes become corridors where I wander with a candle Calling out to you And you only hide because you know I'll find you You say you just wanna feel the way you used to feel the way you should feel And I wander, I wander through the last city of you And you only hide because you know I'll find you And you only hide because you know I'll find you Something For Kate (Echolalia) 020208 ... blown cherry I'd like to think that that's the way it is. I want to believe that you want me to uncover you, to find you out and hunt you down, claim you for my own. That you only hide because you want me to find you. But it's not what I believe. I don't believe that at all. It's all one big "'opeless fancy". I only delude myself. But if it's true, tell me please before I lack the strength to keep searching. Hope springs eternal. I am such a fool. 020208 ... blown cherry Have you told me? Have you told me you want to be uncovered? And I'm just too busy trying to protect myself to see it? Damn you and your ambiguity. I don't understand, but if I can't then I might lose you, and I can't bear the thought of that. 020306 ... blown cherry But you avoided me the other day. Avoidance is not hiding. Avoidance is you not wanting me to haunt you anymore. Shit this is confusing.? So confusing I'd almost call it fun, just like the blathermaze :) 020306 ... blown cherry hiding dodging avoiding pretending-to-be-asleep invisible-mode code quote ambiguity contradiction lego lyrics bye kiss-goodbye run-away run-up-the-stairs look-out-for-drop-bears creep weirdo electric my-cd your-cd lazy sleepy neurotic I have a tendency to over woody-allenize everything. never in a million years could I JUST have SEX with you. don't say anything to me tomorrow. dont look. don't come near. That was probably your game plan anyway. 020309 ... yummyC wow blown cherry... these blathes are so interesting/pretty. and i dont mean pretty in the plain way or the patronizing way. 020309 ... blown cherry *big hug* for yummyC 020310 ... good people when i was a kid, i didnt really have any friends. the friends i did have would periodically taunt me to the point of tears. fuckers. i was an outcast until eigth grade. nobody liked me. i always sat by myself in the luchroom, played by myself on the playground. now i cannot get a nice lonely sit anywhere without someone i know crowding around me. cant i just find a happy medium? 020311 ... continuous ache i don't want to be one of those people_who_infringe_upon_blatantly_personal_thread, but i must agree with yummy on this one. i've been blatherstalking you and photophobe all day, and you've both written some incredibly beautiful things. i hope it doesn't offend you that i compliment you both. i am being very sincere. 020320 ... blown cherry Can I say something that is going to sound totally insane? I think I feel jealous of you. The idea of someone else falling for Photophobe is kinda tugging on my heart in funny ways. I'm kinda smiling, but I feel as though I'm going to burst out bawling at any moment. ANyway, enough of my maddness (I've blathed it before and I'll blathe it again "But what is maddness to those of us who live in our minds?" iris_the_movie) Thanks for the compliment continuous ache. I don't mind it at all. It's always funny to hear us mentioned in the same breath. Next time I'm blatherstalking you I'll leave a note too :) (and yes that is an admission of prior guilt ;) 020320 ... Photophobe ...thanks continuous ache. you're very kind. 020321 ... continuous ache don't worry, blown cherry, my dear. we live on different continents, so i don't think a small blather crush is anything for you to worry about. and thanks for the admission...i always kinda figured that i was the invisible blatherer. ;) you're welcome, photophobe. 020321 ... blown cherry The song is streaming down the airwaves at me, a guest programmer request from Missy Higgins. Paul Dempsey's voice is cutting through me and my body shakes and shudders with the memory of a pain that's never going to heal. Not memory, no. Just dormant, well, not so dormant tonight. My face is wet with tears, once more for good measure. 110118 what's it to you? who go blather from