you_thought stork daddy you understood other people. thought you were good with them. but you had to come to realize they aren't like you. they get hurt. they don't see it as a game or an adventure. and i guess you were like that once too. you believed in love, and then you were disappointed, so hurt. so that when you actually had real love the next time, you threw it away, because you didn't want to get your hopes up. you're hopeless...and people come to you for advice. 050609 ... Lemon_Soda That...would be me about 6 months ago. 050609 ... jane would that be a second person narrative aimed at oneself, my dear? 050609 ... Bite I could have said alot of things at that point, but I just stared and let them walk off. Nothing had really been accomplished except we established we were morons looking for something that didn't exist in a world none of us expected or wanted. At what point was I supposed to cave in? Was I wrong to react the way i did? I don't think so, but then, who am i to say whats right? I just know that their going to keep walking and I'll likely never see them again. Life is a little bit to much like a bad movie for me. I hope there isn't an afterlife where I have to pay for all the things I did that i shouldn't of, because I've just hauled off and smacked people before for no reason other then it occured to me that this might solve the problem of having to hear what was coming out of their mouth. I've never smacked someone for talking about me to me. I figured if nothing else at least the subject was interesting. I will say I've wanted to get violent though. I love my family, I really do, but sometimes I get these urges that a psychologist would describe as unhealthy and possibly socially stigmatizing. Of all of the siblings, I suppose I want to eat my older brothers face the most. He's one of two, the second that is. He used to be like me, or atleast like now, only years ago. Now hes...super guy or something. I don't drink anymore. I realised that I didn't like the taste of alchohol. Thinking about that, it left the only possible explenation as to why i would drink: to get drunk. What did I need to get drunk for? Was I so unhappy, or did I think I needed to get drunk to have a good time? I dunno. Now I have to deal with a brain that isn't slowly being killed and there is nothing more annoying than grey matter with an informed opinion. Morons. I hope that stupid volkswagon breaks down in the desert and you have to eat your own toes and drink piss to survive. I have an overwhelming want to pull your ulna out of your body and use it to clean my teeth. Still, I have more room to myself, and I don't have to worry so much about different groups of freinds wanting to kill eachother. I got to see moon flowers for the first time and that was something really special. I couldn't believe how big the blossoms got nor how great they smelled. You thought i would be committed by now. You thought I couldn't handle it. You thought everything I told you about who i was was some kind of lie meant to get attention. You thought you'd just play around for a while, howl with me, dance in the moonlight with nothing but its rays to clothe us. Eat your steaks raw and play growl at your friends with that wyld bushy hair. You styled that shit! YOU DON"T STYLE it! It just IS! Yay, you thought. Not enough, apparently. Think I'll go running tonight, out to the park and off to the woods on the other side. Always something to tingle my nose over there. I love the way everything smells(except cars) and the bright stars, and the moon(awoo the MOON!) and people can be so nice. I like the dancing and the summer sweat and the barbecues. The flowers and pools. Life is good. Time to scratch. Thanx for listening. 050711 ... stork daddy there was a time when i was good. or i wanted to be. but then i saw that it wasn't all so simple as to be good or bad. and so i went in the opposite direction and thought...nothing is good. the middle path i suppose. or perhaps i've just come to see that you actually do get more of what you want when you're neither all good or all bad. 050711 ... Lemon_Soda Am I here for you? Or are you here for me? Or am I here for me? Or are you here for you? 061113 what's it to you? who go blather from