well_tell_me (&^% he'll be quiet he'll keep to himself he won't talk he won't look he won't even be noticeable do you feel like shit for ignoring him? 020118 ... dax well, I'll tell you this much I felt like shit when he wouldn't speak to me for months I felt like shit when he got another girlfriend without saying anything I felt like shit when he said he didn't want to see me but I got the fuck over it (big mouth strikes again) 020118 ... bzzmel how the fuck you feel 020118 ... no use for a name dont keep it in i want to know your feelings, and your deepest thoughts. i dont care about what your doing tomorrow just tell me something amazing thats worth listening to. thats not a waste of my time. i dont care about all that other small talk crap i want something interesting. something that takes some thought to talk about and can let me know you better. i want to know you. i want you to know me. i want us to understand eachother. 021223 ... june-- i feel bad well yeah i had a big mouth but come on you won't talk to me and i'm boiling over i didn't mention every little detail but what does it matter she thinks i've totally cracked up and will call me sunday oh brother, i stopped short of micro whatevers because had i of brought it up she would of had me committed i was like no, i met him 3 years ago and now i talk to him online and some of his friends 040124 ... june-- she questions why i'm filled with possible self-hatred she said i was being abused i asked, "aren't they my friends?" she said,"no! quit talking to them." i wondered that if they don't like me why do they bother with me at all and that was when he told me, "because they think you're a whore." so you know i'm not happy because i love him but as Jerry says, "if the person is not with you of their own free will it's not happening,"...well, not the exact words but you know i have to get the clue even though i think i can't live without him or his stupid friends Yol wondered why i was becoming so dependent 040124 ... stabbing westward what_do_i_have_to_do 040124 ... unhinged would you even care if i went up in smoke coughed on everything i choke down today tell me is this just a dream if so i'll let it fade and self inflict my wounds again i'm going down reign, failure_boy , ivet , frank silver or something like that 050716 ... when darkness falls after giving it much thought i don't think i should have... but if i hadn't said anything i'd be thinking i should have. i could no longer contain it. i am restless, caught up in thoughts of alternate endings of the story of our little fling. i was your friend and you wanted more. i would have wanted more too, but you write the rules. i was confused, surprised, a little angry, and unable to let go of the past. i couldn't have thought of a better way of saying "i've been holding back." 080513 ... defuffle human possession is something quite confusing isn't it? what more do you want than to be someone's friend? friendship is not about possession is it? then i wonder why people become possessive and controlling when physical intimacy is involved, there are physical energies that we can't see or touch is their not? there is a much deeper level to friendship that most people don't understand maybe? 080513 ... Delta "Let's just stay friends..." "What do you mean?" - I pretend to be surprised. I thought what she meant was, "Stop calling me." Years pass. Then she finds me on myspace. We eventually hang out. Then she gets jealous when her friend hits on me. Now what? Did you really want to be friends? I just don't get it. 080514 what's it to you? who go blather from