if_i_die typhoid my body feels like crap. for no observable reason this seems to happen in cycles but ... i had a dream last night i think it was a dream that i was about to silently pass out in my sleep but i resisted 000807 ... CinnamonGirl Ben will finally be a little sorry and finally care maybe even cry over me Charlie will cry because he will have no one to go see depeche mode live with him, and no one to talk to on the ICQ and he'll probably see my CD's at his place and remember, and like anyone who doesn't hate me I know he'd be sorry, which I don't want. oh and my mom will be crushed and my whole family in general it really helps, I know for sure I'm not gonna kill myself for the next 6 months (till that depeche mode concert) and even after that I'm not gonna do it cause I know so many people would be miserable, it's like a scar for life. the thought of charlie crying over me is so romantic though.... I love his face expressions and his shy smile... wow so many blathers I post has to do with Charlie I'm stopping 010610 ... Casey I don't think anyone will miss me that much. 010610 ... *Ziima* ..today I'm be a happy phantom...and i'd go chasin the nuns out in the yard... 010610 ... baby satan It'd be all right. 010610 ... god mystery_of_the_retarded_nun 010610 ... pinhead gunpowder "let's be honest guys," i'll say, "better late than never!" 010610 ... sabbie "... before i wake.d allow me, lord, to rock out naked"-anthony kedis 010619 ... Sol I will wander this plane, half within half without, i will exist as a backdrop for my present and my perhaps to rest upon. I will seek all that which I have not and i am not, and when found i will seek for all that i am and all that i once was and all that i have now but will have lost to gain that which i have not. I will relieve my mind of its guilt, no more will the idle crushing of a fly, the extinguishing of a single blinking flikcer upon the face rent my soul with momentary fraught madness, no more will i sleep only to wake finding the night does not exist outside of dreams, and dreams exist only without the night. 010619 ... yummychuckle right now...i would be damn pissed. There are tons of moments when i contemplate suicide and if I died then, it might be ok. but right now? no. I was just giving in and accepting life. and the fact that I can't have my boyfriends best friend even though he is ten times better for me and we are a lot more alike than logan and I. and if i died now...i can only be certain that erica and britt and eric would really miss me. all i am to logan is sex. which isnt good for a fourteen year old girl with numourous disorders. 010619 ... Toxic_Kisses what would you put on my tomb stone? 011227 ... reitoei i will rot in the ground and the only remnants of me will be here 011227 ... Avalanched sometimes i wonder if anyone would care, im sure someone would, i just wish it were more people, i wanna an effect on more peoples lives. 011227 ... reitoei we are all plagued by the question of our own signifgance would the world be the same with out us? or would it be a wonderful life type change. what if hitler never lived? who will remember you? not i. you are insignificant but your actions are immortal 011227 ... peyton If I die Before I wake Feed Jake He's been a good dog 011227 ... psychobabe i'm leaveing at 2am with guitarfreak and spoons for florida. If i die on the plane with the rest of our stupid people from school, i hope all my friends know i love em. I know its like 1 in a million chance but damnit, never ridden a plane, kinda freaked even tho its been a long time since the sept 11th bombings, and just the main fear of it. But if anything happens i'd give my sence of humor to rinna and shelley *evil trio* my love to nathy cuz they boy is one of my best buds, and the rest to everyone else. Hope i make it guys wish me luck, c-ya in a week or so :)*waves* 011227 ... kerry give Jackie all my cds and give Johanna all my wool sweaters and mary-janes. 011227 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge ...id wonder what took so fucking long [im so ready to go] 011227 what's it to you? who go blather from