epitome of incomprehensibility This would've seemed offensively off-topic on the post I was thinking of putting it on, but here I hope it's okay...

I was just wondering why many people seem invested in having children that are biologically related to them? I mean, why is the relatedness part so important?

Personally, if I had children I would rather adopt them than have them myself, but I don't think that's better necessarily - in fact you could argue that I'd be shirking part of the work that way given that I have potential baby-growing parts - so, anyway, I'm curious about what emotions and logic make people so invested in conceiving and bearing children when it's medically difficult for them.
flowerock I don't know, I used to want to adopt, and I think I still would, but my partner would not. I do now feel a desire to birth life from my body, it's a strong desire and I like the idea of it. Maybe people who have a hard time connecting to other people are less likely to like the idea of adoption. The child is another new person to connect to that you don't know how to connect with, or so you've percieved... what if they don't like you?

Maybe people feel shame in nit being able to reproduce and it becomes a battle that must be won.

I've had two abortions and I feel that has changed my feelings about adoption, I still think adoption is a wonderful idea, but now I have this heavy feeling about pregnancy and birth and the connection I would feel to the baby. I don't necessarily regret not having those babies, but I do regret not having better informed myself to prevent having to decide not to give birth to them. Lesson learned... hormonal birth control does not always work even when you're sober and taking it correctly, and that I should not form relationships with anyone I would not like to reproduce with.
unhinged i think it is just ignorance that makes this phenomenon so. people are programmed by religious training at a very young age that a big part of their responsibility as good members of their various religious orders is 'to go forth and multiply'. maybe also partially a biological urge; hormones and sex and stuff like that. but, the people that insist that they must have children made of their own genetic material are just playing into societal brainwashing that has taken place for millennia.

i look at the state of this planet, socially, politically, emotionally, physically, and i have no desire to bring beings into existence here, at this time, in this place. what will this planet be like when my theoretical child would reach middle age? humans need to stop breeding. our unchecked population growth is destroying the planet. couple that with unchecked greed...scary. (also the thought of growing a child inside me scares the shit out of me). but if i am really as devout of a buddhist as i'd like to think i am, i may adopt a child or two some day. there are already so many children on this planet that need love and care. i can leave my womb empty and take the bodhisattva_vow to heart with a child already here, waiting for love. but, i'm still using the excuse that i need a partner to raise a child, to remain childless for now.
flowerock Unhinged has good points and I feel this as well. My desires are certainly hormonal and idealogical. The probable_future is grim and it's not necessarily fair to add to the human burden on the planet. There are children dreaming and yearning of homes and love.

I refuse to take hormonal birth control again or to have any more abortions. If our current efforts to prevent pregnancy were to fail, I could only swear to raise the child/Ren as well as we both could. , and to open them up to a positive community to teach them what I could not. To expose them to reality and lead them to tools that will help them live and leave a positive_trace to teach them to wLk the earth as if every step they take is a prayer. To teach them compassion and strength, to empty their cups before they can be filled. Maybe we can help the newer generations to lead us into a better future.
flowerock COTEF


Is amazing.
e_o_i Grr, e_o_i. Way to start a conversation and then abandon it. This is why I should not have children - I'd just be, "No, I'm too busy for this idea/baby, I have other things to do - YOU take it."

But you reared my idea into a friendly debate. Her hair is growing, and she's started teething. She is beginning to recognize objects.

(What I mean is that you both said really good and thought-provoking things, and I'm sorry for not getting back to this earlier to read them.)
what's it to you?
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