bitch_levels x based on the care of his records, and his $2 record player, i feel that my new roommate is not into the sanctity of vinyl. my turntable was broken for a long time but i recently bought a new belt and put it on. i'm tempted to leave it disconnected most of the time and not tell the roomie that it's fixed. is that reasonable or out of hand bitchy? 040202 ... x it's a pl-a35, for anyone who cares 040202 ... misstree i think that any excessive bitchiness inherent in that would be negated by the bitchiness avoided by him not phucking up your stuff. also, i don't think there's any excessive bitchiness; it's your stuff, do as you will with it, at least until you catch yourself putting a padlock on your personal roll of turlet paper... and there are even circumstances where i can see that being justified. 040205 ... x i decided to let that go. and he hasn't used it. my real problem is the pots and pans. and it has crossed my mind to lock the cabinets. as the only girl, i figure i am responsible for the toilet paper. it goes much much more slowly these days. 040206 ... u24 i would be incredibly pissed off if, for instance, someone used one of my knives and damaged it in any way. So I can understand you wanting to protect what's precious to you. I wouldn't have told him it was fixed. 040206 ... unhinged at orange for the past couple months. maybe it's brother withdrawal. any small occurrence threatens to heighten levels to red. im_so_angry and it's scary and hurtful being such a seething ball of angriness all the time. she called me this morning, texted me, to tell me something about a mutual friend. i can't remember the last time she called just to ask how i was doing. i left her communications unanswered, and in the unanswering i feel sicker, harder, leaden. 090220 ... daxle Teaching has been therapeutic for my bitch_levels. No matter how frustrated you are, if you're harsh with a kid, you're an automatic Asshole. It's just not okay. As The Great Vinny once suggested, we'd probably all be better off treating everyone with the kindness and gentleness we'd have with a small child. (Even ourselves) 090220 ... unhinged i dropped my first f bomb as a teacher this week. thankfully it was with a high school student. i have all the patience in the world for students that want to be taught. 090220 ... unhinged (the bitch_levels might also have something to do with having to pretend to be something i'm not at work. cause like you said, being harsh with a small child is not cool. it just makes you an Asshole. but on_the_other_hand if i wanted to be a therapist, i would have gone to school for psychology. as a music teacher, there is only so much i can do when my students don't practice. when their little sister practices more and passes her song in one week, while i've been battling panic attack/crying fits cause the older brother refuses to practice but is embarassed by his lack of advancement *throwshandsup* yeah, i don't get paid enough for that bullshit) 090220 ... dxlblahblah You didn't ask me for advice, so please forgive me for offering it. It's upsetting you that he's embarrassed? or that he isn't linking cause and effect? At any rate, as long as you are doing your best, and he is not doing his best, I think you can separate yourself emotionally from the outcome. Feel compassion for him maybe, but realize that he's got a whole history and life apart from you that causes him to behave the way he does. As a teacher, I would talk to him about what his goals are. It sounds like he wants to advance. Ask him how he thinks he can do that. I've noticed that older kids are more willing to follow a plan that they've created. When I took guitar lessons as a teenager, I did the same shit- went to lessons, didn't practice in between, and wished I'd get better magically. I wasn't terribly upset about it, and neither was my teacher. A combination of laziness and not retaining his lectures on music theory- I need words and visuals. Which reminds me, maybe this kid doesn't have much natural ability, and his sister does? That's always frustrating and hard to understand. 090222 what's it to you? who go blather from