be_a_good_girl endless desire she will be your good girl the world's good girl. everything they ask for everything they want from her. she'll get the grades forfill your image suffer for your praise. . . but she will never measure up. failing and failing and failing. there are just some things that break her heart. that shatter her deepest parts and kill her mind until she is nothing. . . just your defected product lying in the black trashcans at the side of the road. or a forgotten bowl in the bottom of the closet. wasted and dying. . . but still trying with every tensed muscle in her chest to win your approval and make you see some value in her. in how she is and how she cares and how she tries so hard. i've got to push a little harder. be a little stronger. live a little better. change a little more. fit your perfect image. . . it breaks her heart to see you turn your head. to see your laugh and joke. go, toss her your sympathy. icing on the cake. the last straw of sanity. the thread she's been hanging on has long since been cut. she's been drowning in the deep end for one to many moments. she has been off the wall for quite some time now. and no, she cannot see reality where she is standing. she can't really see anything from where she is standing. maybe faded shadows. she wishes one was her own. that's when she stumbles. and walks down her halls, singing softly to herself. you don't hear her though, and that's ok. no one's (blaming) you. not at all. i don't hear her either, and frankly, i don't care. no one really does. we all keep kicking ourselves for not returning her in the first 90 days. what a waste. she just sits there smiling, thinking that we don't see the tears. throw her a look. those seem to sustain her. i just want to make you proud i just want you to understand i just want to be worth something. why won't they let me? i don't understand. really, what have i done? why am i never enough? i change and i hurt and i cry but that's still never enough. shut_up. be a good girl and do something right for once, by just keeping quiet. can't you see that no one cares? there we are, that's better. silence is much more appealing on you anyways. 030901 ... Fire&Roses I never wanted to be a good girl. I wanted to wear your black leather and your lacy lingerie, I wanted to wear your sheer halter tops and be spread across your lap. I wanted your kisses your sweat and your touch... I wanted it all, I geuss I wanted to much. 030901 ... Toxic_Kisses endless desire this poem spoke to me so much that I've placed it in my Favorites Folder to come back to over and over agin, I'm really glad you posted it here. 030901 ... endless desire a lot of times, i just write stuff here to write stuff. i have nothing better to do with my time. . .or at least that i want to do. this one really means something to me and i'm glad it does to you. the only good thing about feeling crappy, in my opinion, is that it gives me something to say. 030901 ... Alanis Morissette "How long before you screw it up How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up With everthing I do for you The least you can do is keep quiet Be a good girl You've gotta try a little harder That simply wasn't good enough To make us proud." 030901 ... celestias shadow make mommy proud 030915 ... sc the poem, endless desire, i loved it. being a good girl is overrated. check- everything i say ends with overrated. overrating is overrating. TANGENT! 031218 ... endless desire quote: "as a girl you see the world as a giant candy store, filled with sweet candy and such. but one day you see a prison and your on death row. you want to run or scream or cry...but something's locking you up. are the other folks just chewing cud until the hour comes and their heads roll? or are they keeping quiet just like you, planning their escape?" -- the_good_girl most depressing, pointless movie. but that's a hell of a good quote. god, i love it. 031223 ... alanis try a little harder that simply wasnt goo denough to make us happy 031223 what's it to you? who go blather from