satan_x3's_snack_tips satan satan satan kicks it up a notch at least until Little BS gets back here's one for starters SATAN SATAN SATAN's KIDNEY-MELTING FECES SURPRISE take the following: --1lb. dry dog turds from your yard --2 to 4 fresh horse apples for taste --a couple of baguettes toasted to near blackness --a jar of pickled dandruff (recipe for that will follow) --one or two large ones fresh from your own rectum --2tbsp orange zest --1/4 cup of peanuts (mix them in now or eat them before preparing the dish) --1/4 cup canned corn (same option) --1/2 cup gasoline --12 sockroda poppers PICKLED DANDRUFF ---2 lbs various scalp flakes ---1/2 tsp. ginger ---1/2 tsp. thyme ---1/4 cup sea salt ---1/3 cup lemon juice ---1 cup red wine vinegar ---2 cups of The Twanger (see: baby_satan's_snack_tips ) mix the ingredients in a five gallon gas can and let sit for 12 years in a cold dark place, BAM!, pickled dandruff) take the dry dog turds and mash them to powder, take the horse apples and your own excrement and mix them in a standard bowl, mix the powdered dogshit to keep the texture intact if not already contained within the feces, add the peanuts and corn for that zippy taste and texture, let stand. don't worry about any flies or other insects that may be attracted to the mixture, they are always a welcome addition to the finished product as the use of sockroda poppers as garnish shall attest while the mixture sits, drain your pickled dandruff with a cheesecloth, saving the twanger brine as a post-meal apertif, using a zester or a bastard file, scrape the charred baguettes until you have a nice pile of fine bread crumbs, mix the crumbs with the dandruff and the orange zest you had prepared earlier and roll your offal mixture in the crumbs once you have rolled the fecal bits in your crumb mixture, prepare a cauldron (or small countertop fryer) with 140W gear oil heated to 220F garnish a plate with parsley, carrot spears and sockroda poppers and serve your deep fried colonic delights Note: Used carburetor cleaner mixed 2 to 1 with a good raspberry vinagrette makes for an excellent dipping sauce 011115 ... paste! ooh, loved that one! albeit with a few changes to the recipe--i had to substitute goat poo with dog turd; the backyard only has goats these days. also, i ran out of gasoline last week from all the huffin'. nevertheless, gracias for the stomach pleasing. pssst, hey satan cubed, i need a new recipe. i'm planning on inviting an assortment of 9-14 year olds over for old GI-Joe toys and Barbie doll distribution. just a ploy really, cause we'll all have sex later. but in between the different festivites, i'll need to offer snacks and the like, simple (you know how they are) but severely leaning towards the aphrodisiac spectrum. here's what i have: -teriyaki flavored sunflower seeds -bucket of assorted mammal ass hair -3lbs of sea bass -the bottled ashes of Sataki, a 19th century hustler/fish peddler/tree mechanic who also spoke_to_stars with a voice with the texture of rice pudding -poblanos -rice vinegar -yeast -5 foot marble sculpture of Wayne Newton covered in semen (go figure) -1987 Guinness Book of World Records -8 inch pewter statue of Margot Kidder, still, wait, yes!, still lodged in my rectum -a loaf of high-gluten monkey bread -last but not least, Kafka's chestnuts do what you can my friend! 011115 ... Teenage Jesus SatanX3, Can you suggest a tasty snack for the golf course? ...and what to wash it down with? ...and by the way, when you see your mother this weekend, be sure to tell her... 011116 ... satan satan satan Ok lemme see, you've got: -teriyaki flavored sunflower seeds -bucket of assorted mammal ass hair -3lbs of sea bass -the bottled ashes of Sataki, a 19th century hustler/fish peddler/tree mechanic who also spoke_to_stars with a voice with the texture of rice pudding -poblanos -rice vinegar -yeast -5 foot marble sculpture of Wayne Newton covered in semen -1987 Guinness Book of World Records -8 inch pewter statue of Margot Kidder still lodged in your rectum -a loaf of high-gluten monkey bread -AND...last but not least, Kafka's chestnuts you can make my special ROOTIN TOOTIN GLUTEN NEWTON BUST A NUT WITH MARGO KIDDER SEA BASS A-GO-GO First, take the high gluten monkey bread and use it to sponge the semen off of the statue of old Wayne, remove the margo statue from your rectum and use the bread to sponge off whatever useful secretions may have adhered to it pulverize both staues into a fine powder and add Sataki's ashes and the yeast. Mix thouroughly, or at least until a phosphorescent green smoke begins to arise, now add the rice vinegar until it all takes on a doughy texture Meanwhile the used bread and break it into little chunks, now take the mammalian ass hair and the teriyaki seeds and the poblanos and liquefy them using either Little BS's Goat Liquefier or set your food processor to "Christ What Was That?" Let stand for 20 minutes Now take your 3lbs. of sea bass and cut it into fine strips wrap the strips in the pages of the 1987 Guiness Book of world records and then wrap them in the pulverized marble-pewter-Sataki dough Bake on a greased cookie sheet at 325F for approximately 30 mins. and drizzle the finished product with the your new poblano-asshair sauce Finally, take Kafka's chestnuts and shatter them with a hammer, sprinkling the slivers on top of your serving platter in a decorative fashion. Voila! Oh, and TJ, i was figuring on an assortment of chips and beer just to piss of anyone who might try to play through (the crunching noise will throw a shot off every time, as will a well placed bottle to the side of the head) maybe lash a 6 foot party sub to the roof of the golf cart, i dunno 011116 ... Teenage Jesus I can see it now... "Do you mind, sir, I'm trying to tee off." {{WHAM!!}} {crunch crunch crunch} ..oh yeah, and Ewwww!! 011116 ... paste! nein! heimlich! argh, lmao. ghorst! 011116 ... tennis star of the 70s well, hmm. i've got a rubber ball a goiter, ripped from the neck of one of the giraffes_from_delphi a case of krispy m&Ms a bottle of Midori a package of seaweed two slighly flattened prairie dogs and some velour throw pillows and hurry, i have the velocipede_rider_of_the_1890's and some of his friendscoming for the holidays and they may require some exotic home-cooked vittles to keep 'em happy 021220 what's it to you? who go blather from