smiley_face vix About 4 years ago, My cousin bought me one of the 60's type beaded curtains for my room with black and white peace signs for Christmas. She said " The only other kind they had were yellow smiley faces, and your a bit too melancholy for that" G Thanks, I think I took that statement a bit too personally then and I still would now. 000818 ... Jenna I was thinking: if no one had used to omnipresent internet smiley ever before, no one had tried to make pictures out of letters and symbols before, and I was sitting here today, and I thought, "oh what a great idea!" and typed: :) to express that I was smiling, would anybody recognize it? Or would everybody just think that I was weird, or that my finger had slipped when I was trying to type something else? {Of course you all already think I'm weird but that's beside the point} 020107 ... Mahayana: Zakah: jenna beside the point= jenna . -or- the point beside jenna= . jenna if jenna=weird '&' weird beside the point= weird . -or- the point beside weird= . jenna :::SO THE POINT IS::: sass loves weird= slw '&' 'if' jenna=weird or conversely weird=jenna than: slw or slj [its all the same, la] [[hey there . jenna]] [YiPpY your here] ~¿ô ö 020107 ... stork daddy who are you again? what's your deal. tell me about westlake. your e-mail? your resolve? 040217 ... :_) i work near westlake village. e-mail is, still, umm, well, not a good idea right now. sorry. but i still think you're cool. goodnight 040217 ... stork daddy suit yourself 040217 ... stork daddy this is for your and my own good. perhaps you enjoy the torture, but i don't. if i can't have you, in a real live burning way, then please don't follow me around making your self-imposed distance all the more painful and rejecting. it's just too much for me to bear. i can't keep watching you flirt with me from behind glass. i'm going out of my mind, i can't sleep, i can't eat. the other day i fed the carpet and vacuumed the cat. i'm confused. please if you care for me at all, you will not shadow me anymore. now get out of here kid, ya bother me. don't look back...just go! 040217 ... :_) i'll smile my smiley_face to you on blather often. presently that feels more right than e-mail. don't be mad, because writing under you makes my face smiley. 040217 ... stork daddy no take it or leave it. as it is, this madness you put into me, this unfettered desire, is the bain of my existence. your indecision, is it a cruel joke? is this simply a bid for attention, for feelings of importance? because it comes at great personal cost to me. did i tell you that i shampooed my windows and put lysol in my hair? 040217 ... :_( i'm so sorry, it's making me cry. i am no longer a smiley face. i didn't realize that blather is this real. you are a real person, and this is not a figment of my imagination. i can't use you to work out whatever issues i have. if only i hadn't made this mistake, in screwing up someone else's life besides my own. yes, i will go away until i can figure out what i want. i might be back, i might not. i just hope you know that i do care, and that you'll find a way to forgive me someday. 040217 ... stork daddy oh my...you love this stuff don't you? 040217 ... stork daddy well i don't need a frowny face following me around. if you're going to follow me around, please be a smiley face. 040217 ... Be Here is room key 204, from the cheap but hourly motel out on route 66. 040217 ... :_) i'm not going to follow you around or be an unhappy face. i probably won't come here for a while. and i believe you'll be angry at me for a long time. i don't blame you for that. i blame myself and i'm angry at me, because i am basically a good person, who wants good things for others. and because of my selfish desire, i fucked up someone's life. the game i'm playing with you is over. if i do talk to you again, it's because i know what you are looking for and i am prepared to give it to you. it's hard for me to leave and not look back. i know it's better if i just don't come back ever. if i do come back, i will chose my words more wisely. you can rest easy now, and not vacuum your cat, because i'm taking a leave of absence. i wish good things and happiness for you. goodbye... 040217 ... the crowd *WILD APPLAUSE* 040217 ... andru235 i smile at you, like a colon dash capital dee but you look away, your at-at eyes becoming less-than less-than yet, i am so very happy that i am still beaming like an eight hyphen capital bee i probably look like a beaver, even though i am actually a tasmanian devil semi-colon right parenthetical, i mutter. here's looking at you, supercakes. 051220 what's it to you? who go blather from