a_hunger_not_only_for_food blueberries to say amarilla was stunned by discovering mrs. nereid was frAnk's "mother" would not be accurate. amarilla was in a constant state of wonder the moment she jumped out of the hospital window. nothing surprised her or everything did because she was no longer the same person inside. something had broken; the girl she used to be, and she was starting to find the little pieces of herself every new place she went. frAnk explained their brief history to mrs. neried and she listened without judgement, only compassion. she simply took amarilla by the hand and showed her where she could take a bath and led her to a back bedroom where there was a closet full of girl's clothes. "look through here, dearheart," she said. "you should find something much nicer than frAnk's stinky sweatshirt and dirty jeans." she handed her a fluffy towel and a robe. "take your time." she said. amarilla came out a few moments later feeling much better. frAnk barely recognized her. "is she your real mother?" amarilla asked, trying to get the attention off herself. everyone was looking at her with amazement. he looked at mrs. nereid, smiled, and put his arm around her shoulder. he explained why he called her momma... when he was eight, his real father left the family for another woman and his real mother was so devastated she ended up killing herself. mrs. nereid was the foster mother selected to take frAnk in. her husband trained him as a gardener. she beamed with pride as he told the story, so happy he came back for this unexpected visit. amarilla listened with pleasant detachment. she could smell the enticing aroma of fresh tortillas and savory beans curling in from the kitchen. mrs. nereid noticed her practically salivating. "you two must be starved!" she said, pushing them towards the food. "you can tell us all about yourself, amarilla, while we eat." it was buffet style. juan, cowie, and ceaserea joined in, sweaty from playing outside. everyone just grabbed a plate, stuffed a burritto, splashed on the hot sauce, guacomole, and sour cream, poured themselves goya, and sat down at the long oak table. amarilla shoved the food in and realized the hunger she had was not only for food, and strangely enough it was not her stomach alone that was slowly being filled. 020215 ... unhinged 'do you mind if i eat some more?' she asked. 'no dear go right ahead. we always have plenty to eat here. what would you like?' 'some of those beans and the guacamole and sour cream please' and as she reached for the bowl of beans from cowie with her left arm she caught the child staring at all her scars and scabs. 'where did you get a star-shaped cut from?....ouch.' juan elbowed cowie in the ribs. 'juan you stop fighting with your sister at the table. right now.' 'can i please be excused from the table? i don't think i'm hungry anymore' amarilla asked. 'of course dear' mrs. nereid gave cowie a disapproving look. amarilla got up from the table and walked out the front door and frAnk followed her. she could tell the ocean was near by and she ran around the back of the house until she found the path that lead down to the beach. 'amarilla...amarilla, where are you?' she heard him calling for her but she kept going in silence. suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder that swung her around and she was looking right at him. 'how? how frAnk? how am i supposed to explain this to children? i can't be here i can't stay. please drop me off somewhere. get away from me fast before they find you..' her voice kept getting louder and louder with every sentence until she was screaming almost at the top of her voice. mrs. nereid was standing in the yard at the top of the path. 'amarilla stop it. please stop it.' he grabbed her arms and pulled her to him. she layed her head on his chest. 'but i can't frAnk. i can't.' 020215 what's it to you? who go blather from