sabbie mymy. what a concept to embark upon. what would i have done if i had of lived my life completly differently?

i like my life, i do. but to consider what it might have been like had i have done things differently...

if i didnt do this particular thing, or that, imagine the adventures i would have missed out on. but just imagine, pollyanna, the adventures i would have had instead...

the mind boggles. what if i had gone to the other city i was deciding on? what if i had met all those friends much earlier in my life? how different would i have been now? the places i go, the people i know, the things that i do, all different...

who would i have been, if i had taken paths other than the ones i chose?

a stranger, with a different life. its fascinating to think about...
redspark wanting to take things back or thinking about what you would have done is a pointless expaltion of emotion and energy, for we can not go back to the past and change ur mistakes to what we would have done. live for the future, not the past 010429
sabbie i apologise redspark, you misunderstand me. i don't regret the things i have done, i always made the best choice for me at the time. regret is a waste of energy because, as you say, the past is unchangeable.

i merely, for a moment, tried to imagine what my life would have been like had i taken paths other than the ones i chose.

arnt you the least bit curious?
birdmad i would have spoken sooner 010429
florescent light I was just talking to my roommate about this the other day.

We were watching TV,
about a crime victom in Salem, Mass.

And my roommate told me that he was thinking of going to school in that same town.
And I said
that it would be weird if he did, and the crime happened to him instead,
and I was here in NY watching him on TV.
But then I wouldn't of known it was him- cause I wouldn't of ever met him.

Then I said,
what if all the people who we see on TV at the particular times we choose to watch, are all people we could have known had we taken different paths.

He didn't buy it.
Sondra i used to think about what i'd do if we went to war.....now i'm very close to finding out......scary 011007
Casey I would have said what I felt about her and what I know about him. 011007
unhinged she got up to go to the bathroom 011007
MollyCule so i guess i'll never know. 011012
SonyaKitty I would have told him more often how I loved him more than all of the world's treasures combined because he's so beautiful it's like he's not from this world.

I would have smiled more, cherished my youth when I had it, and I wish I would have found a way to visit my grandmother before she passed away.
dB I would have put up more of a fight. I would have made my parents not move around so much. I would have made them stay in one place and make a home somewhere and be like normal families.

Now as an adult I can look back and point to the exact moment that made me what I am.

I'm 4 years old again, and my dad comes home one day and says we are going on a long holiday. I knew something wasn't right, and I knew I'd never see england again. But I didn't say anything, I didn't ask why we were leaving, or even say that I didn't want to go.

Half a lifetime spent in airport lounges, trying to figure out where the luggage is. Trying to move into a new home and making new friends, or just trying to get used to a place, but never really being home.

If only I'd done something I wouldn't have had to leave my family simply because I knew what they'd done to me and I could no longer stand the lies.

Second chances are for those who deserve them. Some of us just have to manage.
Nathan88 probably been a hypocrite to everything i tried to stand for...the game was consuming me, like baseball id swing and miss and right when the perfect pitch would come my way id get rained out, or i just wouldnt swing...freinds would lavish in the experiences i may of had but i did not find them as any sort of pain reliever...freinds with enemies only to spite them why was i so angry? i wanted to replenish the lost years of my life way to quickly...too confident for my own good i backed off...me of all people backed off...was this confusing for all of you...i was the guy i now hate...did i come off wrong? spiraling out of control i pulled the breaks on the merry-go-round called life...inconsistent reciprocities no more, people always think the single life is better...but why then are they always lookin for stability and someone to be true too? just like a game we all need practice, im so glad i met you... 4 months tomorrow...what would i have done with the past 4 months...prolly ended up in kato' member the convo about kato' or at least the one im thinkin about...dman thats scurry...you made my life like a beatiful serene dream... i literally could go on forever right now you are so amazing...my lil' smile says it all right now 021211
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