things_you'd_love_to_say_at_work_but_can't Nukemall 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'll try being nicer if you'll try be smarter. 6. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.... 7. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a fucking word you're saying. 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. Ahhhh.....I see the fuck-up fairy has visitied us again.... 10. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid. 11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 12. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 13. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 14. I will always cherish the intitial misconceptioins I had about you. 15. Thank you. We are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 16. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 17. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 18. What am I? Flypaper for freaks? 19. I'm not being rude. You're just insigificant. 20. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 21. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 22. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be......? 23. This isn't an office. It's hell with flourescent lighting. 24. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 25. If I throw a stick, we you leave? 26. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 27. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 28. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 29. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 30. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 31. Panic, chaos and disorder- my work is done here now. 32. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 33. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay cheques. 34. Rate Schedule: Answers:.....................$1.00 Answers which require thought $2.00 Correct Answers..............$5.00 No refunds! Dumb looks are still free. 35. Notice: This office requires no physical fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the boss, knifing friends in the back, dodging responsibility and pushing their luck. 031010 ... marked [humor] . 031030 ... u24 i can actually say number 8 legitimately now. 041124 ... Syrope lol i love it i just wish, to everyone's problem, i could give them a patronizing look and say "aww, too bad" and then go back to playing on the computer 041125 ... smurfus rex 36. Be sure to tell me when we get to the part about this being MY problem. I don't want to miss it. so close, on several occasions... 041125 ... unhinged (censored) i am not allowed to voice complaints or concerns or be myself at work 091117 ... the bad guy 37. (to a former co-worker who was slightly annoying but really ridiculously cute) "Yes, but only if i can follow that by bending you over your desk and fucking you with my tongue" 091118 ... Jurisprudence Say whatever shite you will about him Jealous sniffing backbiters None of you have what he has Me And I doubt you could rightly picture us Me with my heart in my mouth and eyes Lying naked in his arms Smiling and feeling gawd damned blessed with each kiss and each tender whisper 091118 ... unhinged oh_shit too bad i didn't remember this one sooner damnit 101214 what's it to you? who go blather from