Irreverent Lovejoy where the intimate thoughts of cows and goats are put out to pasture.

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current mood: udderly cuddy

milking today sucked, literally. some bored teens were huffin on my teats. it felt kind of good, even though i knew it was wrong.

i'm so fucking tired of grass. it tastes shitty in _all_ of my goddamn stomachs.

i hate everyone and everyone hates me. they just treat me like a piece of meat. "nice chops, baby." i fucking hate that. i'm more than just tender loins.

some days i just feel like lying around and doing nothing.

listening to: sir milx-a-lot
Irreverent Lovejoy 6/27/1894

current mood: curdled
listening too: alpine trio

i wish i had something more to say than moo, but that's just how i feel.

i was sniffing around billy's shitpile the other day and saw some little blue fungi growing on them, so i ate a few. oh calf, that'll make the days go by, whew. i fuckin thought i was in india gettin all holy and praised and shit.

work was lame today, as always--pull pull pull, squirt squirt squirt. i don't really want to go back to school though. i mean, all that studying and money, and for what, so i can be a fucking handbag, or a pair of shoes? why the fuck do we get shut out of the cush jobs, like the zoo, or the fucking circus? it's total discrimination. goddamned republicowns.
paste! 8/4/1951

current mood: spotty
music: dead milkmen

so i heard the bulls today talking about a stampede, but it was all posturing. fuck them.

i had to get away, i always feel that need, to get away, get away from it all, so i found a tree and sat underneath it in the shade for a good 18 hours.

why are we so slow to respond to change and stuff? i don't FEEL domesticated. and what the hell am i chewing on?

randy just turns my bones to gelatin. he's so bovine. oh moo.
no reason lol

thanks, i needed that
Irreverent Lovejoy 6/18/1066

mood: mad
listening to: shakin all over

oh man, i ate some foul feed for breakfast today, and i don't feel so good. i'm totally drooling. i can hardly walk straight. i've got the willies somethin fierce.

i tried to get my visa to get off this god forsaken island, but the british government is all "no," and i'm all "wtf?"

i've been emailing ajinomoto in kobe, but i haven't heard from him in a few days; it kind of makes me worry.

mom's being a bitch. she's like, "you just raise your tail and let fly," and i'm like, "wtf, so do you."
tink They should make this a site...
It's a bastard for my dyslexia.
Evil Dairyland.
paste! 6/19/1994

current mood: moot
listening to: t-bone walker

i got weighed today. i'm well over a ton. fuckin crazy. i sorta miss being a nimble calf.

i remember back in the day when all the other bulls told me "once you get your horns, the prime rib will fall at your hooves". well, say it ain't so. i haven't had rump since our last hormone treatments.

i'm angus!
fuckin certified!

what's my problem? is my hide not tanned enough? do i need a nostril ring? i know my nuts are huge, maybe that's the issue. aha! i have very large testicles, maybe that scares the sows away. so now what? i wonder if i can request a snipping from one of the ranchhands. oh god no. i don't know what to do.

i'm gonna have a panic attack right now on this clump of grass.

ok, back. ;)

now i'm miserable. i guess i'll just mosey on up this hill here and graze for 14 hours then try to masturbate. sigh. moo. pout.

wait, here comes one now. she's grinning at me! wow she has nice udders. it's maggie mignon! dude, i'm gonna go now.
falling_alone i know someone who works at dairyland...

i love their cheesecake "blizzardos" yummy yummy in my tummy *grin*
Irreverent Lovejoy 12/16/05

mood: horn-y
listening to: i'm in the moo for love

dude, i can't stand these uptight bitches. you never know what they want. they're all high and mighty with their grooming and their dkny cowbell accessories and shit. so i roll up in my fresh ass bomber jacket i just got from structure, and their like, 'that is in such poor taste.' oh, okay, so now leather isn't fucking cool any more. jesus fuck.



mood: feeling flayed
music: audio two, top billin'

so i'm up in the lab today with jeb, who's cool for a bi-ped, i guess, but whatever. so the doctor is all, hey this one need some amoxicillin and some rbgh or some shit. and jeb's all, cool. and i'm all, 'don't put that shit in me, bitch.' and then the wierdest thing happens. these two dudes walk in, from vermont or some shit, and their like, hey man, we make ice cream. you don't have to put that shit in your body. we'll take care of you. and you can listen to jerry garcia and save the rainforest. and i'm like jerry garcia sucks, but whatever. so i'm going to vermont next week to check it out. mom's all nervous about her boy growing up and running off with some fat heifers at school. i'm like, mom, chill, i'm not gonna slide my london broil all up in just any ol' flank. i'm-onna get all up in some tender osso bucco and suck the marrow outta that biznatchy.

tru dat.
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