constrained if i could talk id tell you this is me, jailed imprisoned and inhibited my screams shiver and are never delivered i'm holding back because of simple fears that would inevitably turn into complex, convoluted nightmarish realities 020128 ... pushpins eep. that was lovely. 020128 ... unhinged there were so many things i wanted to say to you but time has taught me better i still wanted to love you time had not taught me that better and still your words were like knives jammed into the softest part of my soul where sunlight never reaches i thought apology forgivness was good for the fallen i thought love healed all wounds time has still not taught me better and when i held you topless uttered 'my beautiful bobbi' across your drunken face i thought it might mean something to you time has still not taught me better and i am rebuilding my walls silent all around me wanting to scream your egocentricity to the world your flesh in my teeth but i didn't leave any marks because i didn't want to hurt you time has still not taught me better 020128 ... unhinged once again, the names change but the feeling remains the same 090221 ... Phil Dearly constrained, Perhaps instead of building walls of silence around you all the time it would be more productive to take a step back and see how those walls have hurt you and feel the emotions you have been holding back from yourself for all these years. Maybe you should try looking back at all those reasons you had to interact the way you did with all those people you met and wonder what effect all your choices made. Maybe it is time to learn more about things that are bothering you rather, from them it would have helped you out a lot more. What can you say about yourself that you can change now at this point, what piece of yourself had you lost? What will or has ever changed about everything in life and what is it you need to change about life? Can you change this, does it need to be changed, can it be changed even in theory, does it exist? How would you even know if bobbi was egocentristic or not because you are! You know. 090221 ... unhinged yes, the thought that i have no one to blame for my loneliness but myself has crossed my mind much lately. thanks for the unsolicited two_bit psychoanalysis. (i told them i loved them. i was met with silence, with 'i know' sometimes silence should be met with silence. or i was met with actions that didn't match up with the words. or i ran before i gave them a chance to tear me into pieces of the multipleth time. i know i am handicapped, deficient. it is a barrier i can't seem to cross) 090221 ... phil It is harder to find friends than it is to find lovers. 090223 ... ergo Ain't it the truth! Perhaps it's related to the difference between knowing somebody and wanting somebody. 090223 ... unhinged HA! harder to find friends...haha that's fucking hilarious has spent most of her sexually active life celibate 090223 ... Caroline 452 Celibate = Unmarried Chaste, Chastity = Abstaining from sex. You can be celibate and be getting laid frontways backways upsidedown and sideways. You can thank George Carlin for this one. He pointed this out to me in a book. 090224 ... unhinged (lyrics version) nice guy finishes last stepped on kicked in the ass skin in my teeth but i didn't leave any marks but you said nothing just like i knew you would time hasn't taught me better i still haven't learned better lies don't cross my lips cause there not what i want on my ears your hands tugged on my heart strings just like they did on other things but you said nothing just like i knew you would time hasn't taught me better i still haven't learned better sitting at home next to a silent phone just another lonely day where my friends are all out at play but they said nothing just like i knew they would time hasn't taught me better i still haven't learned better i'm still hoping for better i'm still praying for better 091116 ... unhinged fuck_yeah i couldn't remember or find the second verse of this anywhere. doesn't have access to a piano anymore 120528 ... unhinged (ten_years_past and the hope and prayer are ossified into desperate cynicism. all time has taught me is i am never enough or too much) 190820 what's it to you? who go blather from