it_doesnt_make_sense stork daddy why's it always easier to see someone else get the girl, someone else bite the bullet, someone else rule the world. why can i see your face pressed upwards to someone else's heaven, why won't i see the god you let me be, after you are gone. who made me tired, who made me think winning took anything but doggedly improving your luck. yeah who made me not catch that ball, yeah who made me duck? mainly, who made me? rain danced last night up in the hills, over far away lights and far away thrills, the boys have vans with fogged up glass, where shut eyed girls kiss back their past. who told me it'd be easy, or that it'd be fair, that it's only even sensible if you still can care. who told me i'd be famous, who showed me that show, who cursed me with the blessing to know what i don't know. and somedays i live a life with all means and no ends, and then what makes us friends? and aren't friends just enemies on stilts? and what do we think of flowers when we remember they wilt? and ain't life funny...funny like the milk you drank, funny like the room that stank, funny like the 8th grade skank...funny like the jokes you kept to yourself. and what's laughter for...it's not the same anymore...it's not a bond anymore. and where's it all going that i haven't been? let me be god this time! 030627 ... appleyellow "....aren't friends just enemies on stilts?" im stupid, can someone explain to me what that means 040302 ... stork daddy it's a line from a famous poem somewhere, which seems to imply that enemies and friends share similarly dangerous human qualities, but friends we elevate to either a further endangering level of intimacy since they gain more access to our lives, or make safe by elevating, by paying tribute to. like all poetic phrases, there are multiple meanings to be drawn, but the main gist seems to be that friends and enemies only really differ in how we treat them, and in their strategies for getting at us. 040302 ... egger the cadences and soundplay in this is especially yummy, not to mention, it's damn cool headmeat. kudos. 040302 ... appleyellow thnx for the explanation. i guess i wasnt too far off from what you were trying to say. i thought it meant friends and enemies are the same type of ppl; but your friends are the ppl that make it seem like their better or higher up than everyone else. by the way great poem 040302 ... Syrope i was doing so well well as in...appearances i suppose i hadn't even wondered "when is this going to end?" like before. but the gasping for breath, the darkness, the first fond thoughts of death in a long time...they came anyway. and i was mesmerized by the girl in my head, the one i was letting jump. so mesmerized that i almost didn't open my eyes in time to miss her death. so i'm back and i have a better handle, but i have to clean up the mess i've made. so many things trickled into my mind in the 10 minute walk here that i'd dammed up so tightly. i don't recognize these puddles. it's been that long. the murkiness has an appeal, though, and that scares me. i'm so confused. i need to fight someone. i need to be held down while i struggle and cry. i need to be patronized. but i need to be reasoned with. i feel so light, like i'm floating. and it's wonderful... but is it worth not being as sure of the ground i'm walking on? 040303 ... arwyn the more I try to embrace the idea of a higher power, be it through polytheism, paganism, and, in my former life, christianity, the more I am convinced that this "god" does not exist. We are balls of atoms and energy that live and breathe until we don't. The energy is dispersed and we are nothing. I want to hope I'm wrong. I want to believe there is something... someone looking down and cares about my problems and my successes. Who appreciates my gratitude. But I think I'm just alone. 191229 ... unhinged have you tried karma and interdependence? 191229 what's it to you? who go blather from