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Dresmer Imagine for just a moment that everything you remember suddenly becomes suspect to being completely fabricated by your mind and your not really sure witch parts of your past that you recall or real or not. You learn to survive by implimenting patterns and programs of behavior that seem to slide you through. Your ability to judge peoples emotions, demeanor, and reactions becomes your most useful skill. Instead of listening to what people are saying to you your watching HOW they say it. The face, gestures, tone, even breathing. Rolled up together they make a template in your mind that you apply to stereo typed reactions of your own that deal most effectively with the template your dealing with at the time. Communication isn't so much anymore about recieving and returning information and more so about the proper string of words to placate your subjects negative inquiries and suspicions. Then you realize that all the things you notice about your distractions are things they themselves notice in you, albeit the significance of such escapes them on a concious level(if they knew, your manipulations wouldn't work, would they?). So now you know that you have a great tool to sway the world in your favor. The only thing that can keep you from realizing your ambitions is that without perfect stringing between multiple subjects you might actually have to fulfill some of the non-existent possibilities you implicated. Anything to cement in their minds you are what you say you are and everything you've told them is true. A proffessional lier. Not a con-man, dilletantte, or base manipulator. A step above. You ARE above. A great Pretender, capable of being WHAT you need to be WHENEVER you need to be it. A Chameleon God...or Monster. If you can do it just right, noone will know any better. Noone will ever get hurt. Hell, you can even help them out while your at it.

I'm not crazy, self centered, or evil. I'm doing what I have to do to survive. I'm doing what I have to to get where I want to be. I'm no worse or better than anyone else. Taking my skill to the next level is only natural.
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Lemon_Soda You... 040402
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Lemon_Soda I can't let this go, I'm sorry.

How do you know if anyone really likes you?

Dishonosty is just another method, not a moral qaundry?

Have an issue with commitment, maybe?

What happens when they find out?

I'll get into a rant once I see where your standing on some of this...
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Dresmer I don't know if anyone likes me, and frankly, I don't care. The moment I give myself to them is the moment they can use me in the same way. I won't give up my superiority like that. It always ALWAYS every time with no exceptions goes BAD or DISAPPEARS when you need it. Besides, my memeory isn't conducive to relationships on any level with them because I can never be sure if they were ever there at all. I am no callous bastard. I help them as often as they help me. I don't just take and take and take like some kind of parasite. I make them help eachother and skim my payment. Many loving, long lasting relationships are attributed to my hands as well as a good many other virteous deeds. I inspire people to become better, both inside and out.

Damn straight dishonosty is a method. Everyone lies every day. Mostly for stupid, hateful reasons. Its innate to our nature to color the world the way we want it to be. I just take it a step further.

Commitments are traps. The moment you dedicate yourself to something is the moment your giving control over yourself to it. Think about the hurt and pain associated with everyone you cared about that left or died. Or how ridiculesly frustrated you get when some material object you own gets ruined because of a stupid mistake noone can really be blamed for.

They DON"T find out. They never have, they never will. And so what if they do? Not caring has its advantages.

Rant away, cattle.
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Lemon_Soda I can't help you as much as I would like to.

Your to far gone.

Anything I say will just invite hostility. Maybe you'll come out of there some day, but that day isn't today.
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Dresmer Donot get attached. Donot commit. Everything you say and do must be used in some way to fool the world into what you wish it to become. Lift others up despite their inferiority or ignorance. Leave it better than you found it. Never stay in the same place to long, but feel free to visit. Greed is a downfall. 040402
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Dresmer You think I'm crazy... 040402
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zeke if you remove all the negative words, replace them with neutral ones, and view it as a coping process, this sounds like a asberger syndrome. 040402
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