things_suck nemo i didnt do anything last night, just sat at home and read... why? because i wanted to stay sober and i really dont have any friends that are sober. which makes me a bigger loser: sitting at home all alone, or going out with kids and doing drugs? some one help me out with this, because i'm really not sure 010721 ... kingsuperspecial you could always stay here on the blather_attention_competition and seek out new and better ways to twist that big stick that is up the_truth's ass. uh, oh. was that my out loud voice? damn 010721 ... black-dyed gel product make more friends, there's no law that says you can't have some friends that stay sober and some that do not 010721 ... demitria monde thraam concurrence. and also, there's nothing wrong with staying home alone and doing drugs, either. drugs for me are mostly an alone thing, not a social thing. i get too tongue-tied when stoned and also way too worried about what other people think of me. and since i have hep c, i am not allowed to drink alcohol at ALL, EVER. tonight my boyfriend's going to a party. he invited me, but i declined, because i can't drink and this is the sort of party where it will be lots of drunk college-age people having a blast and me, who will be 36 in about 14 hours, will be the oldest, fattest person there. I'll feel like a fucking chaperone. I'm very bummed out about this. I wouldn't give a damn except it's my birthday tonight/tomorrow, and my mate will be all hung over tomorrow. Great birthday this is going to end up being. And no, it's not a surprise party for me. Everyone I've told about this thinks that's probably what's going on, but it's not. Frankly, I'm really depressed right now. I also don't blame him for going because we are both such computer addicts he gets asked to parties about twice a year maybe and he's 23. I just wish it hadn't been a thin flirtatious college girl who'd asked him to the damn party. And couldn't it have been on ANY other night besides my birthday? I know I am not going to spend tonight sober. I'm going to at least try to spend the time creatively instead of wallowing in self-pity. I dun' like parties much, but same goes for pity parties of the self-held variety. 010721 ... nemo i have diff groups of friends, some sober some not and stuff, but the sober people dont want much to do with me anymore because lately i havent been like they want me to be and get all pissy if i'm not... but same goes for the other people, i hate it how everyone i know is either all or nothing. its kind of frusterating. 010722 ... Allie I like it how my town is so damn small, either you get along w/ppl or you dont. I talk to whoever I want, whenever I want, and life is good. 010723 ... kx21 black_holes... 010723 ... Casey indeed they do...it seems that now a days everone is gone or pissed off 010723 ... Gollum if you train them properly 010723 ... nemo hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well i had some very unsober time to think about things, and i realized that umm i dont really care anymore, and thaaaat... i'm not sure, but its just all peachy keen. i guess. 010723 ... baby satan things have suction? cool. 010723 ... Aimee but sometimes they blow.. not often though 010723 ... Teenage Jesus Happy (late) Birthday DMT! You have the same birthday as my brother Dave_Christ. Dave played golf with satan satan satan and I yesterday. He shot a 116 which is really good for him. satanX3 and I tied again. I actually expected to drop a few bucks to him considering how hot it was (102!) Listen- your birthday is important (if you want it to be.) Next time make computer boy stay at home - or the two of you do something together. Even I stop picking on Dave for one day out of the year. (He's older than me you know.) Look for me and satanX3 and Dave_Christ on a golf course near you...we can play anywhere we want. 010723 ... Sol things which suck: help me here you lot hoovers barnacles welks suction cups extractor fans people drinking through straws too tired someone else finish it 010723 ... kx21 Fun and jokey objects... 010724 ... kx21 e.g. Virgin of Chicken, Hole in Shit, etc... 010724 ... kx21 Please refer to kx21 's definitions of Shit, Virgin, etc... to prevent or avoid any misinterpretation and understanding of these objects and subjects... Take care and have a great day!!! 010724 ... Jenna And I bitch and moan too much in this great blue place. People must be so bored. {thinking outloud} 020102 what's it to you? who go blather from