rush_hour_is_a_bitch 2 1/2 wise cracks Honk your horn(a necessary old favorite). Sing to the song on the radio. Sing to the song on the radio of the car beside you. Make up your own song to sing. Put on a Barry Manilow tape/CD/8-track(Its suggested that you try everything else on this list before you try this one!). Play the drums on the steering wheel along with the song. Lay the seat down until it is horizontal and do situps. Use your windshield washers until they run out of water. Get out of your car and jog in circles around it, occasionally pausing and leaning on the surrounding cars to stretch your calf muscles. Get out of your car, shout "Taxi!" and then stand waiting for one. Drive backwards and forwards in the space you have until your car runs out of gas. Jump out of your car and shout "Everybody slow down! You're freaking me out!"(Note: It's best to look really upset for this one.) Get out of your car, walk to the car in front of you and ask the driver if you can join them. Regardless of their response, get in the car and start talking about the most annoying subject you can think of until they kick you out. Repeat this process with every car in front of yours. When you reach the car at the front of the line, kick the driver out and drive off Ask the driver of each car if they want their windshield washed for $5. If they do, reach in and turn on their windshield wipers. Start playing the theme from 'Mission Impossible' and run between the cars, occasionally diving to the ground and rolling underneath them. When the song ends, casually walk back to your car and get in, acting as though it wasn't you. If you have electric windows, wind the window up and down continuously, all the time watching it as if it's possessed. If you have a CB radio, select an open channel and start speaking in Martian. Climb onto the roof of your car and start reading the newspaper to the cars behind you. If you don't have a newspaper, use your car's manual. Pretend you are Al Unser Jr. racing at Indianapolis(include sound effects). Fart, then blame it on the guy in front of you. Pretend you're doing the traffic report from a helicopter. Pretend you are a helicopter. Write a suicide note, randomly pick a car, give the note to the driver and then lie in front of their car. Snore. Pretend you're the commentator from your favorite sporting event from history. Sit calmly in your car and then act as if the car's been rear-ended(throw yourself about in the car) and then abuse the guy behind you and complain about the damage. Practice your opera singing. Walk amongst the cars trying to make words starting with the letters on the license plates. If you have a mobile phone, find a vehicle with a phone number on it and dial that number. Walk through the cars and laugh at anyone driving Volvos. Rewire your car stereo system. Rewire the neighboring car's stereo system. Turn on the air conditioning to cool down the radiator(connect a pipe from the vent and make it blow on the radiator). Get out of your car and run screaming from the giant alien spaceships that just began blowing up the nearby buildings. Turn off your air conditioning(if you have it!) and find another car that has it and share with the driver your theory of relativity. If you have a sun roof, shout "Up periscope!" and stick your head through, look around, shout "Down periscope!" and sit back down. Drink plenty of fluids and then run through the cars asking each driver "Can I use your toilet?" Get out of your car, find a nearby phone booth, change into your Superman costume and fly off into the sky. Ask each driver if they would like some bacon and eggs while they wait. If they say yes, proceed to cook it on their engine block. Pick out a car, and ask the driver if you can measure their steering wheel. Before they answer, put your steering wheel lock in their steering wheel, lock it and say "Hey, it's the same size as mine!" and walk off. Try swapping hubcaps with adjacent cars. Let the air out of the tires of the car next to yours, breathing the air in as it comes out of the tire. Then try and blow it back up again. Get in the car next to yours, fart, and get out. Headbut the steering wheel, making sure the horn honks each time. Using any object that even closely resembles a microphone, start interviewing the other drivers about an imaginary crime Pretend you're filming the new Lethal Weapon movie(it helps to have your own Uzi.). Pretend you're filming the Basic Instinct sequel(run naked through the cars carrying an ice pick). Rotate your tires so they get even wear. Flick peas in to your neighbor's car by rolling them from the sun roof down the windshield on to your windshield wipers. Use both wipers for multi-fire. Flick your headlights on and off, indicating you wish to overtake the car in front. Get everyone to floor the accelerator while in neutral and give a prize to the person whose engine lasts longest. Pretend you're driving a monster truck and attempt to drive over all the cars in front of you. Hitch a ride with a passing snail. See how many other cars your keys will unlock/start. Swap license plates with the car in front of you. If there is a limo nearby, do a blowfish on one of the windows. If there is a limo nearby, ask them if you can watch television with them. If they decline, refer to the previous item and then bend their televsion antenna. Find a car with a ball on the antenna(the type owners use to find their car), take it off and put it on an identical car. Pick a fight with another driver, when he gets out of his car, lock the door, close it and run. Approach the driver of a sedan, ask them to open their trunk. When they do, mumble something about not paying for the drive-in, jump in the trunk and close it. Find some people having a domestic argument, watch them until they are finished, applaud, tell them how enjoyable watching them was and then go back to your car and try to re-enact it. Stand next to the engine and use one of the spark plugs to try and ignite a fart. Sit on your head 010209 ... Sand Ohh yeah , and i think carrots are bitches too. 010718 ... voided so it took you 4 hours to get back from SF? tell me again how long. 4 hours oh wow that sucks. tell me again. how long did it take? really? really? and that's why you didn't call. how long did it take? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 010718 ... crazyone? point your hair dryer at passing cars and pretend to be a cop 010918 ... crazyone? point your hair dryer at passing cars and pretend to be a cop 010918 ... sassy what? 010922 what's it to you? who go blather from