its_time EECP The winds of change are blowing fiercly through my life. Everyday has become an eternity of lingering. I take a deep breath and look into my soul with hope and desperation. What am I to do? Is it time? I wait for the reply that will change everyting. The numbness of my soul makes caring a thing of the past. How long has it been since I have felt what it is to be happy? My spirit is an empty void of dispair and pain. I am ready to forget all the things I would have so easily given my life for without question. I am ready to do the things the lamens that have never had true emotion push me towards. I am about to step out the door. Then.... Suddenly, without explanation of why, how, when, what, or anything that would stand to reason. I feel again. Potent, strong, isolated, specific, undeniable, and unquestionalbe is the feeling. Toward one specific thing. Toward what it is I am to do. There is no quesion. I can not explain. I will not falter. I know what it is I am to do. Please understand. I see so clearly. I saw before, remember, and I did not follow what I saw. I broke down and did what I knew was wrong. I did what you pushed me to. Remember, what happened next? Why do you question what I know. Why do you deny what is there. It is so obvious. The same thing would happen but I think this time it would be too late. Please don't be afraid to see what frightens you. Please find the strength to see what is there, before I do again what I know is wrong. Please ask the one being that can show you. Please ask with an open heart. Please don't deny what is shown to you. I know you like to deny. I know it is a part of you, I don't want that part of you to die, I want you to be able to see when it has a hold of you. Its time. Time waits for no one. Soon we will be older and you will be able to see if you made the right decision. As of now you have not. I know that the decisions you make now are the ones that a logical person would make. A logical person always ends up broken at the end of an emotional dilema. They survive, because it is logical to do so. This is not you. STOP TRYING TO BE SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT! BE WHO YOU KNOW YOU ARE! BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. Its time..... 020415 ... the shadow of Orson Welles we will sell no wine before then 020415 ... EECP Today: April 16th 2002...... This must be the day of change. I don't think I can take anymore, and you are crying for a change. You just don't know it. I see it...... 020416 ... Annie111 "It's time to move on." It's always that time, but like a clock with no numbers, it's never that time, it's somewhere in between the 12 and the 3, but I'll be damned if I know exactly. It's time to start my homework, it's time to go home, it's time to sleep. It's time to listen to Billy Joel without feeling sad, time to stop following the FDR with my finger on the cold window pane. I can't take thoughts to sleep with me, can't make hopes hold me in the dark. To everyone who has ever been heartbroken, I feel alone with you. Somehow, could we take that collective aloneness, and feel happy in it? The air outside my window is barren and empty. I see millions of lives before me, I see a bridge that stretches into Brooklyn, the second largest city in America. Air hangs between. I water the plants, I take out the trash. I am happy, but at night the ocean rushes down the East River, and somehow the water that covers me is clear and cold and tasting of nothing. "So I would choose to be with you That's if the choice were mine to make But you can make decisions too And you can have this heart to break And so it goes, and so it goes And you're the only one who knows." It doesn't work, I still feel sad to hear it. And I don't know what time it is anymore. 031022 ... Death of a Rose for every one to open a window and look out into the world, without coloured glasses, just look and breathe. It's Time. 031022 ... . i'm bord. 070418 ... nom to say goodbye again kids 070419 what's it to you? who go blather from