self_destructive vicious I move one piece one small stick and the whole thing crumbles at my feet and I'm left with only firewood and all I want to do is strike a match 000108 ... silentbob everyone i've ever talked to who rushed into have sex way too early with their boyfriend or girlfriend, it didn't last. maybe this is the key to not making a relationship self destructive. but i could be wrong. 000627 ... daxle mr self destruct 001229 ... . : * p s y b o r g * : . That's me. hehehe 011104 ... skinny ive indulged in all the self destuctive habits at some time... cutting, fucking, starving... i think ive had my self privaleges taken away... now there's just a long stretch of consciousness until i die. 040804 ... ungreat is me 070810 ... somebody You'd be great if you only thought of us 1/10th as often as you think of yourself, or alternatively, if you only thought of yourself 1/10th as often as you think of us. Hint. Hint. 070810 ... somebody Sorry, ungreat, that was meant for someone else. 070810 ... ungreat thanks for clearing that up cuz i was alittle confused/worried. 070810 ... flowerock Really. Destroying the self I am so delicately uncovering. Thoughtlessly, almost accidentally... subconsciously? It comes in many forms. I need to take better care of myself and pay attention to my wants and needs and which I am acting on. Earlier I advised someone: Breathe, drink water, imagine the present and future as you want it to be. Sounds like hippie nonsense, but it works. I should also do this. Consider if what I am doing is serving the future I hope to see. If not, just let_it_be 150703 ... srealisma I agree with everything you said flowerock... Also you are not alone especially when ye olde attitude is good... See that somebody above? It's like you could start to listen to him if only you knew who this 90% "us" even was - but in an imperfect world I'm a wee bit leary of his math, too. Hint hint. Poor ungreat temporarily told to tenth herself (or himself who knows). 150703 ... srealisma Actually somebody was more generous i guess the person only has to think of others a maximum of 2.4 hours in a day, i don't understand the rest of it- but i understand it is just an insult or an extremely unclear order from somebody to someone. 150703 ... srealisma I get it now you can think of others one-tenth of an infinitely small amount of thinking about yourself, at minimum. At maximum it is the same old 2.4 hours in a day. And you just don't even know who they are! That'll give you paranoia For Sure. But the more i think of myself being paranoid the more i got to think of them. Life sucks, guys. (I thought of you. Check it off. Mutual empathy is the end of the silly hint strategy.) 150703 ... unhinged today the doctor (actually the nurse practitioner) was asking me about general medical history and asked me if i had thoughts of hurting myself when we were discussing depression and thyroid problems. i lied to her and told her no. knowing someone for five minutes doesn't seem long enough to admit something like that. 150703 ... flowerock Sometimes thinking of others, especially those I love or know need more love does bring me to a more aware state where I take more positive_actions. I hate when nurses ask about things so inner_personal. They ask about obviously acient_scars as if they were suddenly bleeding, the ones they see are actually not really self_inflicted anyway, so it's just another thing to remind me of a time I was too_afraid to take control of a situation and so wanting to be loved that I let the situation control itself. In the end though, I_am_ok and healing_just_fine thankyou. The ways that I am self destructive these days only threaten the quality of my life and self and not so much my life or soul. So I should be able to fund a healthy level of self_control here. And thinking_of_love will definitely help. 150704 ... flowerock About the personal questions from nurses... I would answer truthfully if it were going to affect my treatment or healing, but if it's just kind of a side note because they want another thing to write down or make.money on... then they don't need_to_know. 150704 what's it to you? who go blather from