i_disappoint_me kookaburra because im such a hypocrite. i rant on and on about how i hate shallow people, forgetting how shallow i am. i wouldnt date a guy shorter than i am (though there arent many, im only 5'1") i wouldnt date a guy who wouldnt be accpeted by my peers i said some bad things about my friends when my other friends were talking about her i want people to tell me all of their secrets, but i have secrets that i'll never tell a soul i say bad things about my friends in my head just because im jealous ive forgotten about one guy cuz i thought i could snag his more popular twin i am a morally incomprehensible person, who doesn't even know if that phrase makes any sense in this context. bleh... i_disappoint_me 040620 ... whitechocolatewalrus i can't even make my parents happy. 040620 ... minnesota_chris tell me about your peers, kooka. 040622 ... unhinged i always get this sneaking and horrid feeling that every time i open my stupid mouth, i'm on the verge of fucking up something unspeakably good we are so different i feel like i couldn't compete maybe that's just my lack of self_esteem maybe that's just where my two ends meet maybe he was just being nice of course it didn't mean anything and now i've gone and opened my stupid mouth fucked up everything and i am in a rut of quickly completely falling and he picked me up out of one to place me in another that was namely his and i want to hug him and buy him cookies and just sit in the same room with him but i'm afraid that's not possible with him i want him to be my replacement frank but i'm afraid that's not possible with him but he's already claimed as big a chunk of my heart and he was probably just being nice as he is nice in general no special meanings hidden underneath and i want to just sit with him quiet there_are_no_words_here for how disappointed i am in myself right now because the moment i vocalize things they all turn to shit all and any things the moment i say it it all turns to shit i can't compete with that i've been here before i disappoint me when i make the same mistake a thousand times 040928 ... Ps Mjd 21 and inarticulate. 040928 ... uow all of this time i've had 040929 ... 8 that's it, i'm fired 041021 ... daxle i should have hurt that guy 041022 ... .fallen never good enough 050613 ... skyburst777 stupid ugly fool 050613 ... Lemon_Soda Only because I am my own greatest critic. I'm my own biggest fan, too. So I guess I fill my expectations out nicely, as well. 050613 ... neesh more than i can bear 050613 ... pete the times i probably should be with people are the times im the most unable to function around them 050613 ... thorn because i can't just pull myself together and talk to people. i need to talk. but i can't bring myself to. i can't deal with other people. and the few people i talk to, are getting tired of me, because i'm so dysfunctional. i don't know how to explain this. but i really hate myself right now. 050614 ... unhinged is it that hard to get a job? jesus. and if i can't even get a meaningless job how the hell am i going to come up with one that actually has something to do with my degrees? 050614 ... a chaotic gift to idealism it was explained well. i know the feeling th unhinged... degrees mean careers.. careers mean moving somewhere away. 050614 ... . hey folks, i astound myself, every day (sorry about that!) 050615 ... unhinged unfortunately, a lot of the careers in the degrees i have have been vanishing ever since fucktard got into office; i might have to move to europe 050615 ... innocent insect could be so much more, could do so much more. where is the dancing one, the one with the tongue placed firmly in cheek. what have I become and why can't I figure it out 050616 ... nom) could've done today, couldn't do today 051008 ... unhinged i'm so intent on being miserable that i've chased everyone away 051008 ... three words i_miss_you_so_much warm_winter_spell i_disappoint_me 101128 ... Doar well Kook, You have never disappointed me. . 101129 what's it to you? who go blather from