hey_daxle randomly recent look! I count now! ) ! 040130 ... randomly recent JOKING! Joking... seriously now i just popped over here to say sorry if I offended you at beginning_total_memory_dump; didn't mean any harm. :) ? 040130 ... x that's great. i still think what you're doing is stupid. 040130 ... rr well, I can deal with that, but I am sorry to have intruded on your blather. 040130 ... Death of a Rose well, i certainly don't want to incur the wrath of daxle/x, so may I just inquire as to the status of gish? 040130 ... x funny you should ask. some white tipped paws were just reaching under the door. cute, needy, and energetic. he slept the whole night with me, rarely not in direct contact with my neck. 040130 ... Death of a Rose that's got to be one of the best feelings in the world. . 040130 ... u24 what sort of cat is it? we've got a fluffy persian. and I mean -fluffy- hair over everything. :) 040131 ... bird i love you 040131 ... nomme any pixies of gishie coming to a theatre near blather? 040131 ... kss please cheer up. I miss you. love ~ (a) 040520 ... phil write 040521 ... daxle my stomach hurts i deal with problems well i'm confused is it ok to let myself cry? how long do you have to act ok to be ok? changing is hard i want to change i feel like i'm changing am i not allowed to be sad? 040617 ... jane no matter what i say, i am thinking you won't believe me & no matter what i say, i will still feel horrible & you will still be mad at me, so i'll just say i'm sorry & leave it up to you 040618 ... daxle well i would like some sort of an explanation 040618 ... Doar was thinking about you yesterday for some reason. 040825 ... sab you know i lie in bed waiting for sleep as the cars scream and squeel up and down my street all night the headlights casting shadows through the tree branches to my celing and you know for years theres been a small handful of people creating a shadowplay of blue words on my life and you are one of these. so thank for you being a familier presence in my life even thou we've never met and hardly ever actually spoken to each other. kind of like waking up in the morning to find that your housemate has been and gone but left toothpaste all over the basin and coffee cups in the sink little reminders that others exsist. and its nice that some of them hang around. even thou y'aint hanging around my life at all [curtisies and bows . . . . . out] 040829 ... lego girl i connected with birdmad_tell_me 041124 ... stork daddy sorry, i've been off flagellating myself. but uh...hey! 041124 ... Death of a Rose meow sexy ribboner. did they ever find the bastiches that ripped you off? 041210 ... daxle they never did, and i never made it to ashby flea market to see if they were selling it either. i started to buy more cd's and they got stolen from my car. after that i just gave up. 050624 ... daxle I replaced my DDR though for xmas. 050624 ... Death of a Rose did you ever wear that ankle thingy i sent you? 050624 ... daxle i embedded it in someone's hair 050624 ... daxle changing is still hard and i am not a saint, nor am i perfect, nor am i done but i also don't want to continue a shitty life of self perpetuating unhappiness- and that's what I've finally come out on the other side of i'd rather die than resign myself to nothing ever getting better it can get better and it has- not easily or instantly, but it has i don't speak from a place of condescension or pomposity- i have infinite sympathy for those grasping at a pinpoint of light from the bottom of a well I have absolutely no sympathy for those who resign themselves to a "tragic" existence where the only validation comes from the pity of others 060209 ... sab i like the things you say i like that you still contrubute. spelling notwithstanding 060209 ... daxle i miss a sab a bit 060209 ... stork daddy daxle has impressed me later. she sounds like i did before i became her. i think she's ultimately right! of course i never stop striving. what else is there to do? 060209 ... stork daddy wow i was sleep deprived when i wrote that. that said. i know what i meant. sometimes i think back to that easter i spent with you. and i think about my grandfather, and i hope it provides a glimpse of what my life can attain. 060209 ... daxle I now do have sympathy for those who resign themselves to a tragic existence, though I wish them peace. There's still other groups I'm working on having compassion for though. Baby steps away from the deep well of assholery... 100325 ... does it ease the pain? baby_steps_away_from_the_deep_well_of_assholery 100326 what's it to you? who go blather from