endless desire i stand alone in my dark room. --overwhelmed-- slowly, back against the wall, i slide until my head touches my knees. --alone-- then sigh. but not a sigh of relief or even a sigh of sadness. no sadness would mean i could feel. mean i could breathe without. i close my eyes and suck in. the air cuts my throat with jagged glass moleculesdust, death to matter. motives. intent. i watch law and order and find the criminals in every situation. smile, your on your own camera. happy? content? you would. the world is yours. dance on your stage, act as you wish since no one is watching. the girl to the side whispers ever so silently. his cheaks flush a red that burns and tickles his insides. tough. yes, continue your games, because you aren't as transparent as you feel. the girl smiles and hides. () there are days i sit huddled in the darkness as my finger traces circles in the skirts i wear--white ones, long and free. empty, touching the ground. the breeze flows through them and my skin tingles. absentmindly twirling my hair. stop. you look dumb. d-u-m-e. d u m e why, you fail yourself--not beautiful words. use only words that please. beautiful words. flow. like her white skirts. letters curving in endless circles. () she seems intrigued by the boys who drop their school books and run for life with such force. the cigarettes amuse her innocent gaze. (used) (bitter) is that your taste of danger, silly boy? should your games make me dance. () letters from further away arrive via friends and send you back to where you belong. smile at thick paper and scratchy love. love so thick you can almost smell it. love needs a new word, i have decided. stronger than love, life, energy. a power. a desire. a charge that overtakes her. lightning. a flash, an explosion of emotion and passion and craze. pure lightning with all of its energy and charge. soft hands, whispering limbs, quiet feet grasp power now. there goes control. here comes impulse in this soup of obsession, lightning, love. here flow the words. never quite beautiful. deserving punishment. () i'll never understand why i have become so lost. i travel down roads, believing that i have finally come across one that shall lead me home(peace)(hold_on_my_soul). but if i was in a correct state of mind, i would realize that the foot prints on the path signals i have traveled here once before. and while viewing the second pair of footprints, the third the fourth--each more weary than the last--one would assume that i would no longer travel down such a drowning path. one that has lead me to riversorrow time_and_time_again. whether eyes deceive, mirrors consume, or hate embraces, warnings never seem to affect the outcome of decision. strange how when alone, any common path is haunted with her greatest fears. watch the flow. river running, green ivy twine. wildest_dreams takeabow, cueapplause. exitstageright. 030725
splat not go be confused with innocent bystander 030725
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