chasing_the_dragon
birdmad light it.
breathe deep.
The world around you is the windshield of the speeding car on the highway in the middle of some deep blue desert night on a warm midsummer evening where the stars shine bright away from the light pollution and the noise
the world is speeding shimmering twisting floating the world is the windshield and you are the bug who landed before the car began to move and who cannot take wing until it stops again
... but ohhh my god , until then
what a ride
000401
...
MollyGoLightly I've seen the dragon look back and incinerate the hollow-eyed kids stumbling along after it. 000402
...
birdmad and for all of my challenges and provocations,
it has never done me that favor

always delegating that task to winged Cupid

in spite of my best efforts,
i have lived to regret my youth
000402
...
daxle when I try to explain that people don't take drugs to be happy, I always think back to my first experience with opium
I really can't say that it didn't make me feel genuinely, ecstatically happy
And I wonder if I'm really afraid of addiction, or if I'm afraid of being happy
000403
...
jwarlocK do i like? did I like? did YOU like? me... still... life... paused... around ? through?
Whats that smell... do I find it appealing despite the unfitting or mismatched disposition of the possibility attained
or thought
or hoped?
and as it lingers I ask
what was that? what is that
011212
...
god trip, trip to a dream dragon. hide your wings in a ghost tower. sails cackling at every plate we break. 011212
...
haxle this was my first underscore blathe 020921
...
joda passive and organized 030511
...
joda also, useless in pusuit... 030612
...
birdmad Trogdor, the Burninator 030612
...
endless desire i want to go.
tell me,
how do i get to the dream dragon?
030612
...
x grow up

buy some opium
030612
...
ferret all i want for tonight is a dream 030612
...
NA is gay Finding happiness in drugs is like trying to find a cookie in a bucket of shit 030704
...
nonentity the dragon has succumbed to age and decrepitude, sotted in its ways for lack of natural predators save for other dragons.
what use to chase what has flown away?
030704
...
User24 and now, in the land of the free, the dragonhunters have their trophies, and those who rode the dragons are bound to the earth for evermore. 030901
...
User24 translation: yeah, all my dealers got busted. 030901
...
worthless fuckin junkie it isn't happiness in the drugs i'm looking for, just the ability to ignore the layer of shit that covers the cookie 041210
...
pSyche then you wake up and realize your dragons were only lizards, and the large problems of your life are yet to be conquered. 060224
...
jane reminds me of killing_zoe

dr seuss my tub!
060813
...
birdmad it's an anniversary of sorts

18 years ago this weekend (give or take a couple of days), myself, my beloved accomplice and our favorite mutual girlfriend all made the vow to kick heroin

cold turkey, each in turn. and i, having once been a much more impetuous type decided to go first.

all told it took us almost three weeks each to feel like even broken shells of human beings after the initial misery of our self-imposed withdrawal, and another year beyond that with minor lapses into pills and other idiocies to convince ourselves that we had beaten the cravings and could live quasi-normal lives

(every now and then, i still have to expend a lot of energy fighting the urge...)
101112
...
grendel back when blurring the edges was a literal pursuit 101112
...
unhinged he left town again today to come off it; and just like my first heroin_doll, i'm not expecting him to stay clean for long once he gets back.

surreally_painful_dream
opium_resin
vicodin_withdrawal


(i am glad you are still fighting your urges bird)
101112
...
Doar peace bro. 101113
...
Doar peace bro. 101113
...
fghio fghio 101116
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from