sound_in_the_night monadh is as monadh does song of the owl remembering a rain thought once knew moonlight night walking dawn taking time whispering offering renting the value of a soul 010809 ... socialretard bump. bump. and it's you.... your roman-like features glimmering like a magazine model alien in the green lights. curled into fetal beauty...begging to be held. dreams of sugarplums and guitars. but that was then. ... . my world in a whirlwind... all your small town dreams laid out in reality. rock n roll fantasy grasping at your soul. ... . your terror stricken sprint to sheltered comfort. hurts.tickles.causes me to grow. bump. bump. 021208 ... Lime Rider So quiet. So very quiet. Quacking of ducks startled the two. Would it ever be the same? 021208 ... werewolf it was for once, letting go of the fear of what will happen to me if i just give in to the stifled voice. a person can't live if they learn not to trust anything inside of them. the conflicts of other people, scared and lecherous, confident and faltering, are branded into their own dreams. me, i was out of harm's way, i was where nobody knew who i was supposed to be. i was most truly myself. 021208 ... werewolf all of the things people taught me then forgot about, that i never did. 021208 ... god what was that? 030610 ... trixie People that say, hey you can call me day or night... are really sad people. Not sad in the way that we should look down on them, but sad in a way that is so bare and human that it is painful. When people used to say this to me I would feel delighted, and special because such an invitation was really only offered in the movies by well meaning and powerful drug lords or brilliant thinkers. To be included in the circle of people who call each other whenever they want to is to feel like you have come into your own and are truly accepted as who you really are. But, in real life, the people who really say call me anytime, day or night, are lonely are offer this not for you and for your gratification, but for their own feelings of self worth. I have just crossed into that realm of lonely and desperate people that ask, no, really really want you to call me now... 2:05 in the AM. When everyone is asleep and it is so quiet I can really hear myself think. And it is so empty in my own head that I am begging and imploring you to call me because if you don't I will have to sit here and listen to myself. That is all boredom is- the inability to be comfortable with oneself. The inability to take anymore bullshit from yourself for entertainment. That is why these people want you to call them... because just having another voice on the other end saves us from the thick and watery nights alone with our own depths. 030611 ... shivers there are none, everyone, except me, is asleep. moms meds put her out, dads been in bed since seven, my brother is fast alseep. i lay, staring at the ceiling. thoughts that scare me and make me laugh. Im scared of you when i hop in bed, but after 2 hours of working through what happened, i cant wait to see you again. its too quiet 030611 ... neesh my mobile's interfering with my music, which is on so quietly the interference drowns it out for a moment. but i don't care about that, because i'm just about to get a text from her, which means i'm not the only one up at this crazy hour. it's not the boredom of lying in bed, it's the loneliness, and the frustration at not being able to switch off. but it's ok, because i've got someone to share these times with. and also, the birds round here start singing at 4am, and even though i have double glazing they're still really loud. what's up with that? 030611 what's it to you? who go blather from