my_summer andrea i am at camp andfinding so much out about other people from all over the world: india, columbia, spain, england and it seems no matter where we are from, we are all haunted by our own ghosts i am noticing that there has been a change in me i woke up one morning and realized that my soul had opened up and all the joys of life were pouring in it at once i am spending time playing, running, and singing with wonderful children who are reminding me what it is like to be young and carefree i am seeing sunset after sunset that helps me to understand the awesome power of God and the role he serves in my life and what i must do for him i am laughing, and doing laundry, and doing stupid things like putting rubber gloves on my head and then climbing through windows with people i never even knew existed seven weeks ago, yet can't imagine them not in my life i am in love and finally learning how to trust and give myself to another person without wondering "what if" i am growing into a splendid, loving person and day by day i see the changes in myself and i have to wonder if anyone else can see it too copyright 2000 000722 ... grendel Heat and dust, the promise of rain that never comes The dark clouds churn and rumble and flash on the horizon, but always pass by just before they deliver on their implicit whispers Fear and desire-- the intersection of past and present one-hundred-and-ten-degrees the sun rages down desire burns within oh, i did not know that i could burn this way 000722 ... Barrett Now mere sips from a cup that was once overflowing. And the taste that was once so sweet, now seems to leave a bitter aftertaste, more often than not. 000817 ... heel turn "shoveitshoveitShoveit" 000817 ... kim what i thought i wanted and what i actually want start to become clearer with each realization of truth and i start to feel finally at ease almost as the summer comes to its close 000817 ... confabulation my summer its mine. don't let it leave I've been waiting all year. days like pages of a novel. wind catches the thin paper. flipping through chapters faster than I can read. my hand fights the breeze holds the page i was on I try to take it all in, bookmark it at least. but the zephir is insistent and I give up all hope throw the book down and walk on...looking for a new story to live. 010718 ... silentbobfuckyou movies. being alone. a lot of lonliness. trying not to care. hating everything. 010718 ... alice wasnt too bad, alice . 020815 ... bethany off the computer onto the drinking and the clubbing and the drugs i was a lush but i wasn't a slut, a resolution well carried out i worked 5 days of the week woke up before noon about 10 times fell asleep after the sun rose about 50 times smoked my baby sister up rekindled some old friendships with old emons who have turned out to like me quite a lot still haven't convinced my mom to get an air conditioner 020815 ... ~gez~ my_own_summer my_last_summer my_only_summer that meant anything 021103 ... nomme) could end with a fall 050706 what's it to you? who go blather from