invisible_sometimes ethereal I am invisible sometimes. Most times. I want to cry right now. I am not sure I know how. ..........interruption.......... conversation I'm having with someone right now---- I said: i feel like, if i was put beside a person and someone stood there and looked us both over and was asked to choose someone to care about, they would choose the other person. ................................... I'm such a dork sometimes. I want to cry for him. I still haven't. It's almost been a month. I need to cry. And now I'm feeling alone again. Invisible. And I still can't cry. I am even without tears. Teenage angst. I think not. No one should have to feel alone. Everyone does. Why is that? 040313 ... dark blue I wish I was invisible sometimes so that I could relax and not have to worry about ppl bumping into me 040314 ... Borealis if I were invisible.. I would do a lot more good for the people I cared about. my abcense, abscence, absense...I can spell at 1:40 in the morning. my *fill in blank with correct spelling* would leave them free to live their lives without my taint. my scars..my troubles..the things they gladly take..for no reason I can see other than they have decided to love someone who has wounded herself to the point where she cannot do anything but take anymore. this isn't a personality crisis. I am worried about the people I call my friends. becuase I should be invisible in order to protect them. protect her is it better to be wrong twice and right once..or just wrong once. is it better to hurt one person or two people less. *points inward* "bitch"... I can't hurt you again or I'll lose all faith in myself. if its not already gone I have no idea if you cared..but dang it..regardless.. *hangs her head* 040314 ... pete to cry and not to be able to.. that is pain.. to have so much and watch it turn to nothing over the course of a weekend and not to cry.. that hurts, and lingers.. refusing to go away.. meg (ethereal) i hope you can cry soon, instead of having it build for four months.. just sidelined.. not really noticable except when all alone when i feel like i dont have a friend and i wonder why is there that little nick in my side that keeps bleeding though i dont care about it anymore? and then i begin reliving a week or two and see a flower crushed by invisibleness.. sometimes i am.. often even.. but i never really am.. im sure someone sees me and recongizes me, even if i don't know them,.. as i know i do with so many people.. noticing when they aren't around, but not knowing them.. angst. angst.. i can avoid it by thinking about it and taking the many tangents offered.. perhaps you just need a shoulder.. perhaps i do too.. 'oh isn't it a lovely day?' 040314 ... meg see sorry. 040314 ... pd i haven't cried, its been five months. i carry a reservoir of something i can't explain inside me and my cynicism has returned. i'm searching for something i don't know about and i'm always invisible. big whoopee. 040314 ... pd and ethereal/meg- i know exactly how you feel, and i hope you're doing better. it'll get better in time. and i'd choose you :) 040314 ... ...AntiqueClocks... I feel invisable sometimes..... I talk and nobody seems to listen.... or hear... maybe its just me... I mumble too much, no one can understand a mumbler.... No one can understand a mumbler if they aren't listening either.... 040314 ... ...AntiqueClocks... invisable* Did I mention I can't spell either? ....Not that that has anything to do with being invisable..... 040314 ... ...AntiqueClocks... Yup there I went! INVISIBLE**!! okay! done. 040314 ... ethereal did I really write this? almost three months to the date and I'm writing under invisible... Not even sometimes, just plain invisible. 040614 what's it to you? who go blather from