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ask_splinken
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splinken
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when it all comes down to it, i can follow with the best of them.
aw fuck.
ask away.
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000827
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... |
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The Schleiffen Man
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Dear splinken,
Why do walruses (walri?) go wub_wub in the night?
Signed,
Me
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000827
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... |
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grendel
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dear splinken;
how do i get away from that kreepy bastard who keeps staring back from the other side of my mirror?
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000827
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... |
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silentbob
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Dear Splinken
If ya wanna feel funky, feel free
just dont lay yo funk on me!
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000827
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... |
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splinken
|
schleiffenman,
they go wub-wub cause that's what the celestial spheres tell em to say.
grendel,
there's no getting away from that guy. he is the boogeyman, and he lives in my mirror too. you just have to patronize him a little, act like you're scared.
bobby,
i know what you can do, let us lay some funk on you!
me-ow,
splinken
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000827
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... |
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silentbob
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dearest splinken
do you devour hashbrowns when you devour small children? and will you email me?
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000927
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... |
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Barrett
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splinken,
If you mixed:
2 cups of funk
1 stick of butter
12 beers
2 tbs. of a thunder storm
1 box of Barrett
What would you get?
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000927
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... |
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splinken
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barrett,
if one was to put together this unholy mixture, they would get biscuits.
light and fluffy biscuits that taste like gunpowder.
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000927
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... |
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splinken
|
silentbob,
when i eat hashbrowns, i'm in the wafflehouse. when i'm in the wafflehouse, it's 2 a.m.
when it's 2 a.m., the kids are asleep.
so no. and kids go better with omelets, anyway.
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000927
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... |
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silentbob
|
Dearest Boof-like-girl
Would you ever devour anything larger than a large midget?
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000927
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... |
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Barrett
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Splinken,
What if you took out the 1 box of Barrett, And replaced it with 1/2cup lemon zest?
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000928
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... |
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Brad
|
Dear Splinken: what the fuck is going on with my life right now? everything is going nuts. And how do i make it stop?
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000928
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... |
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splinken
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barrett,
You need to watch Nuke 'Em High. It and only it holds the answer to your question.
Bob,
I've devoured mammals as large as a bison before.
Brad,
Chaos is fun. Pour honey in your hair and sneak onto someone's rooftop.
time for class,
molly
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000929
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... |
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Barrett
|
Do you have a date for Prom?
|
001020
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... |
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splinken
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barrett,
i had one, but i left him standing on his front porch, holding his corsage. i drove off in my hot-rod.
supersincerely,
splinken
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001020
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... |
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silentbob
|
splinkinator
if you were casting a broadway presentation of high fidelity....who would you cast me as?
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001020
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... |
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bulk death
|
i like to pick corn out of midget's poop!
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001021
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... |
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startfires
|
splinken
is your hotrod a
Bitchin' Camaro?
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001029
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... |
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Barrett
|
Are you, by any chance, a birdwatcher?
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001119
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... |
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bulk death
|
i saw one once
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001119
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splinken
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bobby,
sorry it took me so long to answer this.
i would cast you as Anna.
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001123
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... |
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lovers lament. . . . .incognito
|
dear splinken,
are you the missing fourth party of Winken, Blinken, and Nod?
Is Nod a cover name?
When Nod is around, is that Splinken incognito?
How come people don't realize that?
Do you get a lot of fan mail?
I'm gonna start a Splinken_incognito_fanclub right now!
|
001123
|
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... |
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|
you know
|
Splinken_incognito_fanclub
go check it out, on and all
|
001123
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... |
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the got pod
|
do you belive in spookes?
|
001205
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... |
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splinken
|
sorry to neglect this for so long.
actually, no i'm not. HOWEVER: i have a new system for answering the questions. i will employ the stichomancy method, but i will limit myself to one text per day.
today's answers come from a book called "Scotland's Unsolved Mysteries of the Twentieth Century," by Richard Wilson.
that said, here we go....
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001206
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... |
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splinken
|
startfires, the answer to your question is...
"She was interred three days after being found."
|
001206
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... |
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splinken
|
Barrett:
"Dunkirk was yet two months away."
|
001206
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... |
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splinken
|
lover's lament:
"Yet, after all these years and all those suggestions, an absolutely convincing explanation for the men's diappearance is still teasingly elusive."
|
001206
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... |
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splinken
|
pot god:
"He rushed to a phone-box and dialed 999."
|
001206
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... |
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the got pod
|
it's got pod. i don't want the DEA breaking down my door.
|
001206
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silentbob
|
dear splinky-poo
do you ever dream about living in cardboard boxes and eating packets of mustard?
|
001206
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splinken
|
bobby,
"They knew, roughly, how it happened. But why?"
|
001206
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startfires
|
splinken
what should i paint a picture of for my final project? if i had a picture of you i would paint you on top of a mountain in a blaze of glory. or something.
|
001206
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... |
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The Schleiffen Man
|
Wouldn't she have to be "going dooooooowwwwwwwwwn in a blaze of glory?"
|
001206
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... |
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silentbob
|
which is cooler:
80's New Wave or 90's Neo-Swing
|
001207
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... |
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TalviFatin
|
Where are your friends "Blinkin'" and "Nod"?
|
011026
|
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... |
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|
of Orange
|
Dearest Splinken,
Does piracy make the world go round?
Signed,
William of Orange
|
040128
|
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what's it to you?
who
go
|
blather
from
|
