invisible_sometimes
ethereal I am invisible sometimes.

Most times.

I want to cry right now.

I am not sure I know how.

..........interruption..........

conversation I'm having with someone right now----

I said: i feel like, if i was put beside a person and someone stood there and looked us both over and was asked to choose someone to care about, they would choose the other person.

...................................

I'm such a dork sometimes.

I want to cry for him.

I still haven't.

It's almost been a month.

I need to cry.

And now I'm feeling alone again.

Invisible.

And I still can't cry.

I am even without tears.

Teenage angst.

I think not.

No one should have to feel alone.

Everyone does.

Why is that?
040313
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dark blue I wish I was invisible sometimes
so that I could relax and not have to worry about ppl bumping into me
040314
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Borealis if I were invisible..
I would do a lot more good for the people I cared about. my abcense, abscence, absense...I can spell at 1:40 in the morning.
my *fill in blank with correct spelling* would leave them free to live their lives without my taint. my scars..my troubles..the things they gladly take..for no reason I can see other than they have decided to love someone who has wounded herself to the point where she cannot do anything but take anymore.
this isn't a personality crisis.
I am worried about the people I call my friends. becuase I should be invisible in order to protect them. protect her
is it better to be wrong twice and right once..or just wrong once.
is it better to hurt one person or two people less.

*points inward* "bitch"...


I can't hurt you again
or I'll lose all faith in myself.
if its not already gone


I have no idea if you cared..but dang it..regardless..



*hangs her head*
040314
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pete to cry and not to be able to..
that is pain..
to have so much
and watch it
turn to nothing
over the course of a weekend
and not to cry..
that hurts,
and lingers.. refusing to go away..
meg (ethereal)
i hope you can cry soon,
instead of having it build
for four months..
just sidelined..
not really noticable
except when all alone
when i feel like i dont have a friend
and i wonder why is there that
little nick in my side
that keeps bleeding
though i dont care about it anymore?
and then i begin reliving a week or two
and see a flower
crushed by invisibleness..
sometimes i am..
often even..
but i never really am..
im sure someone sees me
and recongizes me,
even if i don't know them,..
as i know i do with
so many people..
noticing when they
aren't around,
but not knowing them..
angst. angst.. i can
avoid it by thinking about it
and taking the many tangents
offered..
perhaps you just need a shoulder..
perhaps i do too..
'oh isn't it a lovely day?'
040314
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meg see sorry. 040314
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pd i haven't cried, its been five months. i carry a reservoir of something i can't explain inside me and my cynicism has returned. i'm searching for something i don't know about and i'm always invisible. big whoopee. 040314
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pd and ethereal/meg- i know exactly how you feel, and i hope you're doing better. it'll get better in time. and i'd choose you :) 040314
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...AntiqueClocks... I feel invisable sometimes..... I talk and nobody seems to listen.... or hear...
maybe its just me... I mumble too much, no one can understand a mumbler....
No one can understand a mumbler if they aren't listening either....
040314
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...AntiqueClocks... invisable* Did I mention I can't spell either?
....Not that that has anything to do with being invisable.....
040314
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...AntiqueClocks... Yup there I went! INVISIBLE**!! okay! done. 040314
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ethereal did I really write this?

almost three months to the date and I'm writing under invisible...

Not even sometimes, just plain invisible.
040614
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from