spiffy_is_loved puredream ever so loved. I love spiffy. 040709 ... Doar well, I like you, but love is going a bit far. (I'm afraid of commitment.......:) 040710 ... spiffy that was sweet. i cried. 040710 ... puredream *hugs* there there. have an icecream. *hands spiffy a strawberry ice cream cone with a cherry on top* 040711 ... iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl *hugs spiffy* 040711 ... dudeinanigloo *Snatches the ice cream and runs away* 040712 ... spiffy aww. he stole my ice cream. meanie. *pouts* told you i was unloved. 040712 ... dudeinanigloo *Stops, sees spiffy pouting, feels sorry for him, apologizes, returns the ice cream, and goes and buys his own* 040712 ... puredream dude in an igloo... You must have brain freeze!! We're all fricking girls!! Or at least everyone you've so far called a guy! Friggin A!! Look at me, I am writing like Jess. Good god. 040712 ... spiffy everyone always assumes spiffy is male. 040712 ... puredream I didn't. 040712 ... spiffy ok then most. 040713 ... dudeinanigloo Okaaay, sorry MRS. Puredream. You can't blame me, this is the internet. And besides, I don't spend too much time digging through people's posts looking for a hint as to what gender they are. Just so I have the record straight, you AND spiffy are both female? 040713 ... spiffy yes we are. 040714 ... spiffy i just can't believe this though. especially now that i know that the_world_hates_me. now that i know what people say about me when i am not around. now that i know that everyone wonders why i never talk. i guess i knew that already. actually i know i knew that already. i just had like four people mention it today. i don't deserve love. or friendship. no, i don't deserve it because i am a stupid lame pathetic loser. i don't know why i was so stupid as to think people might actually like me. i don't know why i am the way i am and i don't understand what is so wrong with me. i'm sorry. i am sorry to the whole world who hates me for even being born. i just don't understand... i just don't understand. i'm on the verge of tears. no one loves me. wow it hurts to even type that. and it feels wrong which makes me feel really bad. i feel so bad. i am such a terrible person oh i just feel so bad. and yes i realize i am rambling and yes i realize i am dwelling and yes i know it is wrong to be constantly dwelling which is like all i ever do and i'm sorry but i can't help it. i am trapped in this little box all day every day with like no human interaction at all. except for my parents who also hate me. they say they "love" me but i don't see it. today my mom asks me why i look so sad and tells me, "if something bothering you, you can tell me about it." yeah right! i tried that just the other day and was yelled at constantly for hours as i layed curled up on the couch crying for what i said. all i said was that i want a life. but i guess that is something i don't deserve either. and now i have completely switched the topic and thereis no point to this mindless jabber at all. and even if people say i am loved and i do believe it i quickly start to doubt thinking that they have changed their mind. becuase from my experience it seems no one can love me. and why must i go on and on about this. i feel so stupid. later i will regret putting this here. i'm sure i will. and even is spiffy_is_loved, sarah is not. because the_world_hates_me. and now i think i will go hang myself or something so no one will have to listen to me anymore. 040714 ... kookaburra spiffy: dont you dare hang yourself! or else i will come after you and... uhh... well, anyways, dont give up! this is exactly what i felt like at my old school, and i thought it was hell, but its gonna get better, i promise. and if it doesnt get better, pleeeeeze come talk to me. dont do anything drastic, kay? 040714 ... iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl spiffy - can you give me your email addy? i'll try to help....i'm going through a shitty time too. *hugs you* keep going! 040715 ... Borealis I will always love sarah. and spiffy..and whichever other names you give to yourself, in an attempt to cover the pain. I won't tell you everything will be alright. but I will tell you that there will always be someone, somewhere..who gives a shit. 040715 ... spiffy starsweptcavies@hotmail.com 040720 ... spiffy i'm hopeless and not worth anyone's time though. 040720 ... . 070618 what's it to you? who go blather from