blurring_the_edges_13_behind_the_curtain birdmad It occurs to you one night while playing with Zoe and Tricia that apparently the three of you have a bad habit in common. Stepping out of the shower, you see Zoe fixing a pair of needles. A flash of disapproval rushes through you, but it's short-lived considering that you are a junkie too. After losing the marketing job on Central, you are working more at the Pavillion and have landed another, crappier sales gig, although it does have the added benefit of taking you to places where you can spot potential customers or marks. It is September, not as hot as it had been even a couple of weeks ago. Greg and Tony are gradually ridding themselves of their supply of coke, except for what they use themselves. One night, on the party scene, you hear rumors and whispers going around about Tripod Billy and some girl he retreaded to a darkened room with. You never see the girl, but knowing what you know about his manners, you don't discount it. The word going down is that she invited him to a room to fuck him and things went according to plan for awhile. If that was the end of the story, then no problem. You listen around through another couple of parties within the next week and you hear more. Billy got out of control and decided he wasn't done with her, but being really high, she didn't fight back too hard. Problematic in and of itself, but you remember that Billy carries the nickname of Tripod for a reason and it comes as no surprise to you to hear that he caused the unnamed girl some degree of injury. A few weeks go by and one of the party-boys who like to hang around with Greg and Jimmy K tells a similar story. This also comes as no shock to you, as Bryan mentioned a brief fling between Billy and himself, citing his only complaint that Billy "fucks like a bull." You and Henry both are concerned about the potential for trouble that this brings up. At first it is just a few verbal scoldings, but then it moves on to hitting Billy where he really lives and taking the cost of keeping shit quiet out of his cut of the profits. Time goes on and by the week before Halloween, Greg and Tony are less and less involved in the business end of the circus and you are left as something of a partner with Henry, Billy and Zoe as the game changes from South American products to a focus on Asian imports. Your other associations are down by one though, as Jimmy Grenville committed suicide on Labor Day weekend after learning that he was HIV positive. It pisses you off that he nearly took Bryan with him for no really good reason. You visit Bryan in the hospital. The bright hallways and jarring colors of the decor make your eyes hurt, as if you had been staring at a test pattern with the colors deliberately set so high they might melt the screen and your retinas all in one shot. The medical staff looks at you distrustfully as you walk into the ward. Not caring, you leave your sunglasses over your eyes and chat with Bryan. If nothing else, he seems in denial about Jimmy being dead. He doesn't seem the least bit worried that in the process of wrecking his car at high speed with Bryan as his unwitting accompaniment, Jimmy nearly turned his suicide into something more than just a personal issue. One got carless and now there are only Four Guys named Jimmy left. He was a nice guy, you think to yourself. You'd be more upset if you weren't in a state of constant maintenance-level narcosis. On those occasions when you do make it to church on Sunday mornings lately, you wonder if anyone beside you and God are aware of just how fucked up you are as you stand there like some perverse re-imagining of Jim Morrison singing hymns with one half of your brain and replaying the sensations of your last great high or good fuck with the other half. 030415 what's it to you? who go blather from