hoodrat so this is where it begins. the start. the story of me. i'm not sure where in my life it will begin. meaning, where "now" is in my life. anyways...

now to think that this might lead somewhere is amazing to me. i've been coming here for nearly half a year, making little entries here and there. unfortunately all my entries were just little pieces of me that someone might not ever piece together. my initial plan for this is to somehow allow you to follow my story if desired. i'm not saying that what i have to say will be interesting, but you will be able to comprehend my being...what i am. so the idea is simple, and if you are fortunate enough to read this blathe you will know that the last word that my fingers type will be the link to the next entry. i hope that there will be some correlation between entries and also hope that they can stand alone.
hoodrat old beginnings.

it doesn't matter now
a thimble in time I wanted you to touch me
without your hands,
for there is no greater love.

I wanted my breath
to follow yours,
for there is no greater union.

I wanted every poem
to be for you
but they were all so hollow.

For the beauty of your heart
is like the fragrance of the flower,
hidden beneath the petals of your skin.
a thimble in time No, no, no, it is all wrong. "Beginnings are so difficult." 050525
Piso Mojado is this what it was like in the beginning? 050525
Piso Mojado you gave me papers to fax
i saw the 310 area code
you asked me how i liked it at brandeis
and gave me some poems you had in your backpack

i thought about you for months
not acting on it from shyness (and occupation with the downfall of my life)

finally i got up the courage and emailed you
we met for coffee in usdan
i was nervous
and you gave me wise advice

a couple days later we went out
(not on a date you say, but it was)
i hadnt slept the night before
we went to a bookstore and a furniture store

i picked you up in LA in front of your dad's work
we went to 'back on the beach'
and talked family history

you came over
i made pasta
we kissed
hoodrat it's been a long time since i've been here. lost, but now found. it's funny how much life can change in a matter of years. how depressing one can be when looking back.

words of advice, (if one were to listen)...turn out the light, go to bed, and get some sleep. there is so much to do in this life. think about what you are doing, who you are in the inside...a good, hard, honest look. the only thing you can really change in life is yourself.
. you floomphed onto the bed beside me, clumsy as ever, and started talking to me about how gender politics blow your mind

your breath smelled like alcohol, I think

then awhile later (days? weeks?) we were fighting over a yellow highlighter - wrestling really - and I knew we were in the center of the room with everyone else staring at us, exchanging glances, amused and a little disgusted

in the morning after one of the awake-all-night nights, I took your hand and held it, it said something, I wanted to say something

my eyes were closed but hours later I felt your lips fitting themselves into mine

we kissed
what's it to you?
who go