i_am_gone endless desire no you will not find me here. i rest far within myself, living breathing thriving within myself. and here i will stay. do not try to come after me. there's no use, really. i am gone. and when i think i am in control is when i feel the most helpless. stretch out your hand because i don't like this place, no matter how much i say i do. you were wrong. somedaysicantdoitonmyown if i could, than i would always be alone. i feel alone. lost and alone. but i should be used to that by now? repeating. "haven't i seen this place before?" "oh_no. we are going in circles." "it seems that tree looks familiar." "we are lost and we will never escape." "but what are we running from?" we are running_From_the_world now. what will you do? now that i am gone. hello goodbye see you in tomorrow. my cookie crumbled and now i'm crying on the floor. the floor that no one bothered to mop. mop. mop the dirty. then the dirt will just move to the mop but does it ever go away? away. i am away. i am gone. i_Could_wake_up_Screaming_sometimes but then i'd choke on the words and you'd hear my cough and tell me to sit up because that is who you are. hold out your thumb so they know you want to get away from here. no matter where you go, you'll always be alone. f_a_i_l doesn't that feel nice. do you know its sting? the bitter taste of the words in your mouth because you will never be enough. i will never be enough. now do you see why i am gone? does_anyone_have_400_dollars_for_me? so i can get out of this place soicanbreath. learn again. i am trapped, with closing walls. the curtain ends always touch. little bits of life steal through not enough. not enough to fill. or spring to life what is so far gone. 030629 ... endless desire "would you catch me if i fall out of what i fell in? don't be surprised if i collaspe down at your feet again. i don't want to run away from this. i know that i just don't need this. because i cannot stand still. i can't be this unsturdy. this cannot be happening. what is real and just a dream?" (jarsofclay) 030629 ... lyric queen HEY ENDLESS DESIRE...yeah...that song is SO by LIFEHOUSE. Please pay attention to the songs you hear 030721 ... endless desire yes, actually i really know that. jars of clay would never write a song like that and i have no idea why i put them. it is lifehouse and i apologize because i am a crazy lifehouse fan ((though, i liked there first cd quite a lot more than their second)). oh_well pobodys_nerfect, right? ;) where's she been anyway? 030722 ... .fallen I'm_still_here 040225 ... megan you shoved me away i'm trying to stay gone the dry spells of emotion have always given me a wealth of words 040407 ... whisper_to_the_moon I am gone. I have fallen. I am dead. Mentally. Leave me alone. Stay away. Busy spray-painting all my clothes black. I will be invisible. And no one will know i'm there. I will die, no one will care. I will trip on the traps i set up for myself, not knowing. And I will fall onto the deep abyss of nothing. Just to be numb. No more feeling. No more logic. No emotion. To die. To sleep. forever more. 040627 ... dead and buried Sounds good to me. 040801 ... n\ I'm writing this a day late, but I was no where near a computer yesterday... Today (July 31) is my birthday!!! Yah!!! I'm 18 finally!!! I'm as old as eveyone in my crew! Wow, this feels good the being 18, i mean i don't like the responsiblitly to much, or that i can't get my mom to do everything for me but its like a renewment feeling I got going on here... 040801 ... czmember i think u wrote_this_in_the_wrong_blathe 040801 ... Novice I did, but I put it in the right one now 040801 ... kookaburra and its really too bad... i was getting kind of fond of me 040802 what's it to you? who go blather from