i_am_a_bad_person JustOnMonday I want to see you vulnerable and alone again, I think that makes me a bad person. 040804 ... . so are we all 040804 ... misstree you are subjucgated. i was given a choice, long, long ago, and i chose the_god_of_me. play at my fingertips, bleed for me, make me cry for your empty tragedies, because i have nothing left. die for me because i am bored. none of it matters in the first place. 040804 ... Syrope i want to tell you my fantasies but the last thing i want to do is manipulate you. i know it can happen, i've done this before... so i'm afraid, and i can't i hit a brick wall in my mind maybe i still can't get over the fact this is real 040805 ... chrysalid I want you to be hurt so I can help you instead of you helping me so I won't be pathetic and you will someone has to be right? 040805 ... stork daddy depends on who you ask. 040805 ... stork daddy and how often you ask them. 040805 ... stork daddy and how long they've known me. 040805 ... misstree sometimes a drunk person (as evinced above) but i'm rather skilled at being a person, making me not a bad person. beyond that, bad in whose eyes? even if i were to try to act against my nature, it would be in my nature to do so in the first place, and while there are aspects to my nature which might make other people judge me as bad (and are we talking having bad in one or overall balance?), i personally live by a set of rules, morals, guidelines, and tendencies that i have personally constructed bit by bit, and whould thus not consider myself bad. (i'm sure there's a flaw in there somewhere, but i haven't had the chance to talk out of my butt in a while, so nyah.) 040805 ... Doar get the air freshener out.... :) 040805 ... Lila Pause One night, I decided to write a letter. ...The sort of letter that says much too much for such a small envelope. I confessed, what you had never asked to hear. - It wouldn't be such a bad thing if I had only wanted to confess. For this, crossing the line is (reluctantly) permitted. But oh, I wanted to cross that line in the coldest of cold bloodedness. Now you feel so uncomfortable... Or maybe you've put it out of your mind. But I know, if we ever meet again, you'll remain, so steadfastly, in your dark corner where I will only make you out by your shadow. But you'll see me. You can't miss me. As my face illuminates the entire room with the pure burning shame of it all. I wanted to give you what I'd never had. It could be a philanthropic act on the surface. But no. Oh no... When you rejected me, crowning me victim, I basked in that awful light and all the masses rejoiced because everything was right and proper in the world that day. 040805 ... uow but my cats think i'm a funny kitty and my dogs think i'm a nice bitch 040806 ... workinprogress. the things i've done not the stupidest but definitely the worst in my life recent times are a confusion of emotion future times are an unknown right now, i want you here to make it all okay how can i be such a fool, again and again maybe it's just how i am 110418 ... birdmad because i'm so godawfully incompetent at being a good one, and besides... ...i have more fun when i'm bad 110418 ... Bitchtastic i want you to kick her out. she doesn't deserve you. your basis for staying is that she has never done anything to intentionally hurt you. how fucking bullshit is that? you are unhappy. i am unhappy. she is unhappy. one thing can solve this. 110418 ... drunk dialee stylie is a fan of Bitchtastic 110418 ... unhinged there are no bad people. just bad choices. we pay for our bad choices. eventually. it is a tenet of buddhism that drew me in very closely. but i used that tenet as a blindfold with him and allowed a lot of abuse to be heaped on my head. just because there are glimpses of fundamental goodness, doesn't mean i have to stand in piles of shit to see them. i do not think you are a horrible person but i cannot allow your horrible actions to be a part of my world anymore 110419 what's it to you? who go blather from