how_much_is_too_much
Doar just checking. 050629
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Lemon_Soda Too much is more than enough and better than not enough. Not much is less than that but it'll do in a pinch though pretty much is preferable, all around.

Clear that up for ya?
050629
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z not enough 050629
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andru235 if_relativity_is_a_sham 051208
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andru235 "too much is never enough"
--m. jagger ??? someone else???
051208
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REAListic optimIST it's all too much. 051209
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IGG this much. 051209
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birdmad it's never_enough 051209
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Syrope i'm not sure what it takes to combat this type of inertia...

boredom
anger
sadness
proof
death

or just someone new
051210
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oren Too_much is just beyond perfection.

Just.
051210
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jane i got way too drunk again last night. i didn't do anything foolish except steal two glasses from the beerhouse. they should have given them to us by then, i think we had probably paid for about 50 or so.

but then this morning, that guilt feeling, sinking in... and i miss him so i call him and tell him that nothing bad happened, but i still feel horrible. i feel like i'm confessing my sins (and he is ordained) but i am not being forgiven. all i want is for him to say, "you_are_forgiven," but he ends up telling me how many times he has heard all this before, and asks me when am i going to just_stop.

i tell him i know why i do it, it's because i don't want to deal with anything. and these things that i have to deal with, none of them are even that tangible. work is awful - i feel like even though i'm getting a lot done, i'm not actually DOING anything. like this eternal hamster wheel of cubicle work. adding numbers, making sure that they match. all that and then the loneliness on top. veiling everything like a fine net, not allowing anything to pass through.

he tells me he's been down that road before, and it has no end.

and i still feel guilty, but i'm going to take it easy this weekend. smoke a couple cloves, take the dog out on walks, read, stay in and drink hot cocoa and watch an old movie. things that used to make me feel good. i'm not getting anything done anyways, i might as well have a good time doing it.
081108
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In_Bloom 4 jane: THESE THINGS

There's nothing to see here people
keep moving on
Slowly their necks turn and then they're gone
No one cares when the show is done

Standing in line and it's cold and you want to go
Remember a joke so you turn around
There is no one to listen so you laugh by yourself

I heard it's cold out, but her Popsicle melts
She's in the bathroom
she pleasures herself
Says I'm a bad man
she's locking me out
It's cause of these things

Let's make a fast plan and watch it burn to the ground
I try to whisper so no one figures it out
I'm not a bad man, I'm just overwhelmed
It's cause of these things
The crowd on the street walks slowly
don't mind the rain
Lovers hold hands to numb the pain
Gripping tightly to something that they will never own

And those by themselves by choice or by some reward
No mistakes only now you're bored
This is the time of your life but you just can't tell
081108
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jane ... 081110
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from