unhinged bubble baths
bus rides
taking a minute before i get pulled in the boss's office

gathering in the suffering of the world on the in breath
smoothing out the out breath
Ouroboros every so often I close my eyes and think "I release what is not mine, I release what is not serving me" and breathe the energy of my body from my head down to my toes and into the earth. Works like a charm. Instant shift. 091205
Ouroboros listening to chants and mantras in my headphones riding on the bus, sitting and working at he job, and chanting aloud loudly at home 100216

I've been using the 9:37 version, omph.

The other night I was mantraing this into my sleep & kept doing it in my dreams. When I awoke to hear it sill playing I remembered I'd chanted it in my sleep. Very peaceful.
unhinged my life has been a meditation on chaos lately; i need to find time for myself again. funny how that only seems to happen when i'm alone, and when i'm alone i bitch about being alone.


i feel stuck. completely.
hsg attention_to_breath thoughts_are_programs you_are_made_of_patterns you_are no_one
but_you can_change_the_program
Anomalistic_Laugh_Tour control_ALT_yourself


"Emotion" allint: elegance

heart of it' s hoW INtelligence
unhinged correlation:

i feel stuck in my head
my breath feels stuck in my chest
ergo Have your head
ask your breath
whilst in your chest
to blow your heart a kiss
jane breathing 100219
unhinged this_too_shall_pass

not in some placating bullshit way
but really
it'll pass

still not sure where the origin of thoughts, emotions comes from but i am learning to spot them sooner. i was tossing and turning last night; i rolled over and thought to myself 'what's the problem?'


(my rent situation at work just got rougher; i used to have a tab essentially. now i have to have some way of paying for the rent up front or i get charged $4 per day on top of what i am already charged if the owner doesn't have immediate access to some kind of funds. i never abused my tab at work like some people but sometimes i counted on it. the strain of that place is getting to me)

i have also focused myself on finances recently i.e. what i need to do financially to get out of here.

so basically, once again my mind is always turned to the problems and obsessively turns them over like a worry stone. i am a planner. i like to have definitive things, events, paths in place. the problem is there is an infinite amount of things, events, paths that could be planned for. stress becomes unmanageable. (the fact of the matter is i always keep a sizable cushion in my checking account so there really is no reason to worry about money other than keeping needless spending in check)

i have been sad lately since he left. i think i have gotten better on fixating on that in recent years though. it is inevitable that at least one student will do or say something to vanquish my sadness; i guess sharing yourself with people has a way of bringing joy back to you. *shrugs*

but i have noticed most pointedly lately that my echoing_thought always disappears. it pops up to threaten me, mostly when i am alone, then it disappears. that nasty skin itch at the wrist, the way my skin feels suffocating; it goes away. which is usually assisted by a big ugly crying fit but *shrug* the scar_garden really isn't an option anymore.


something i used to tell myself but didn't really believe.


yeah fucking right

underneath, covered by all the dirt of living, i have a big heart that fights to get out. i have a strong light that wants to be a beacon for others who are lost. anger, sadness, impatience, orgasm, romance, all just waves.

they too shall pass
ergo The space between thoughts
the silence between sounds
the breath between words
unhinged . 131116
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