blowjob_humor the laughing ascetic (indulgence) two sperm cells swimming along, first one says "geez i sure am tired, how much longer till we get to the uterus?" the second one says "Uterus? hell, we're not even halfway through the esophagus yet" 011201 ... bad joke why are fat chicks so good at giving head? because they have to. 011202 ... IKC 56-80 Guy walks into a bar and plops down a wad of cash in front of the bartender. Says, "bartender, give me ten martinis" bartender says, "Ten Martinis? Damn! kid, what's the occasion?" guy says to bartender "My first blowjob" bartender pushes the cash back to the guy and says "In that case, they're on_the_house, congratulations" The bartender lines up the martinis and the guy downs them each in succession. When he finishes the last one, the bartender, surprised that the kid is still standing says, "Well, would you like another?" Guy says, "no thanks, if the first ten didn't kill the taste, i don't think another one will" 020805 ... IKC 56-80 A guy decides he's going to go bear hunting. One morning he packs his gear and goes out to the woods. He comes across some bear tracks and follows them carefully until he spots his prey. He lines up his shot, aims and fires, hitting the bear who, wounded, runs away - leaving a trail of blood for the hunter to follow. the hunter follows the blood trail until he reaches a clearing where he expects to find a dead bear, but as he steps to the spot where the blood stops, he feels a tap on his shoulder and sees the bear standing over him. the bear says "Now i didn't appreciate being shot at, so here's the deal. You can get on your knees and blow me, or i can maul your face off" Not wanting to be eaten, the hunter blows the bear and leaves, swearing in his mind that he will kill the bear Two weeks later, the hunter returns, this time with a bigger gun. he scouts his location and finds the bear's territory again, lines up his shot and follows the wounded bear's blood to another clearing. He feels the familiar tap on his shoulder followed by the bear saying "You know what to do..." and again the hunter complies Enraged, the hunter comes back two days later with an elephant gun. Before he can wander into the bear's territory, he feels the tap on his shoulder again, followed by the bear asking him "let's face facts, you're not really here for the hunting, are you?" 020806 ... Strideo Blowjob Request This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her: "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob"? "What? You're crazy!" she said. "Look, don't worry," he said, "it will be quick, I promise you." Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody..." "At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, Sweetie, I really need it." "I've already said NO, and NO is final." "Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too." "NO!!! I've said NO!!!" Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this blowjob." At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, damnit, give him the blowjob, or I'll have to blow him, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep." ... 030721 ... glissade I love the taste... my boyfriend shows me his love and in return I give him a blowjob I wish I could right now... 030721 ... FireNRoses names Robin Spits. Maiden name was Swallows. Well which is it baby? Spits or Swallows? 030721 ... jane kyle: wow. that's a lot of sea men you've got there, cartman. cartman: yeah, i bought all that i could at this bank, and then i got the rest from this guy ralph in an alley. stan: that's cool. cartman: yeah, and the sweet thing is, this stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. he just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose. heh. 030722 what's it to you? who go blather from