blather_phone_relationships eighteen silly, serious, random. angst driven lusty obsession without reason. (those were good) serious live in relationship. If blather had left me alone, I could have kept on with who I was, maybe more driven and alone or maybe I would have stuck with what I had. I would not write desperately, trying to draw an interesting life out of my ass, saying I'm going to learn to unicycle as if going-to do anything makes up for the life I let myself have now. I buy lots of stationary and spend time talking about how much stationary I buy and people have the nerve to ask me if I write a lot of letters. How can I, if I don't have anything to write about but buying stationary and maybe going to learn to ride the unicycle? blatherskites on the telephone are dangerous. I was talking to realistic optimist when I was pulled over for my first ticket, after all. 050803 ... REAListic optimIST i felt like i didn't know what to say even though i felt like then-seventeen was really charismatic and interesting, and i feel like i am usually charismatic and interesting, but the sheer randomness of it somehow shortcircuited my normal ability to be off the cuff. there is a real connection between the two blatherskites that is palpable by phone, and gets in the way of the flippant "i'm just gonna say this for the fuck of it" that i can normally summon at will. plus, the first thing i remember seventeen asking me was if i wanted to get married, all flippantly, as if that is a perfectly normal thing to say first thing when you talk to someone. and it is exactly the sort of brain poking i like to do to other people, but marriage was something i'd recently decided i wasn't sure if i ever wanted to do. so i was all kinds of twisted around and pretzel like. because of the palpable connectedness and realness of the person on the other end of the line. and then with the getting pulled over episode... eep! i scampered away, never to have a blather phone call again. not even from ever dumbening. but the funny thing is... i really miss it. i felt a sense of loss. i secretly yearn for phone conversations with eighteen and also death_of_a_rose. it's really quite intriguing. 050804 ... Doar hmmm....intriguing....hmmm.. yeah i should give you a ring m'man. ship me an e-mail with a number at which you can be reached. . 050804 ... unhinged *sigh* . 050804 ... Doar why the sigh unhinged? 050804 ... unhinged you know why 050804 ... Doar actually i honestly don't. *confuzzlement abounds* 050805 ... REAListic optimIST here's the secret about my phone number: i don't own a phone. "what do you mean," you ask? i mean that i don't own a phone. "but you gave me your PHONE number," you point out wisely. well, i gave you my number. "ok, now you're just being cryptic for the sake of building suspense," you quip." well that might be the case, however my number ( which i think i posted in um_hi ) is not phone or cel, but is merely voicemail. "aaahhh. well you've got to have a cel phone or at least use a pay phone to call and get your messages," you sagely deduce. nope, they get emailed to me as sound files. "well then why give me your number. it doesn't seem like you can even talk to people. get a phone, moron," you say and storm off with tears streaming down your cheeks. as you reach the door, i compel you to WAIT. you glare at me, chin pointed inward, peering upward defiantly. i use dialpad, an internet pc-to-phone service, to return calls to my voicemail. i can do this with a mere few seconds delay from your hang up if i'm home and online. i do it this way because the voicemail account and number is free, and it costs less than $7/mo for me to use dialpad's pay as you go service to call people. i tenderly wipe the tears from your face, and we embrace in a hug of forgiveness and relief, as our feeling of connection is restored. 050805 ... Doar I believe you might be expecting too much in forgiveness, as I'm not weeping. Ce'st le vie. (courtesy of the "Friendly French Spell Checker") [insert happy face here] 070418 ... pete apologises to doar for correcting the spell c c'est la vive 070418 ... pete curses and corrects his own bad french C'est la vie 070418 ... pete i've only talked to one (presumably lapsed) blatherskite over the phone, and that was a few years back 070418 ... jane first one i talked to was bobby. i wrote down all the my_phone_number numbers & decided it was he whom i would call first. don't remember a tidbit of the conversation though, bobby. sorry. i remember later ones, when i was in new_york. 070419 what's it to you? who go blather from