silentbob i wish i wouldnt wase all my time
wishing i was with you
regretting feeble attempts at maybe convincing you
i'm the one
that chosen one whose meant to be
like spoiled milk
i taste like shit
even tho you say i taste like sugar
and the tail lights flash
as i come to a screeching halt
stop all this nonsense
you're wasting your time
you're wasting your tears
you're wasting your heart
wishing you were with her
the clouds swirl like cotton candy
i hope you still think i taste as sweet
i don't want to write you 10000 love letters
if it doesn't mean you'll be with me
a cloud of smoke as white as the sky
intoxicates my heart
the power lines tretch the vacinity of my emotions
electricuting me when a ventricle adjoins them
you move me.
now the blue smoke's plastered across my sky
i sense a change going thru my core
sitting on the floor
staring at blank pages
it brings me to tears as i find i can live a little once again
i begin to feel like myself again
with my grey eyes
and my grey smile
and soon my grey hair
once agin to throw myself back into the race
so i think now
i can exist with you in the rom
maybe it wont hurt a LOT to have you around
maybe i can like you and stand not getting to hold you
when i want it more than anything
i can go on.
kx21 Any proven ways to waste all the time? 010107
nomme making_time

as though we could control which way the earth spins
as though we could measure our moments
our distances

as if we have time
the nights child expectation only leads to despair 030730
FUCK YOU expectation is a form of hope,
without some kind of hope that people will stop pissing on you, you might as well just ask Troy to slice you into small pieces, make some use out of the matter.

i don't know what i want to be here for either, i don't mind being used but i'm not the grains in your pestle and mortar so stop trying to disturb me.

One day i will become a real schizophrenic and you will have an excuse to try to look after me but until then you can FUCK OFF!
ever dumbening so, do i fucking start NOW? 110419
falling_alone hello, irresponsibility,
i like your frequent panic attacks, and the fact that you've given me a pre-mature grey hair.
my boyfriend especially enjoyed that, so much so, he taped it to my computer moniter.
i suppose it was a lesson.
but i'm still typing.
i have 40 minutes to alter another garment.
i was supposed to have finished 8 of them.
i'm not even half done.
that was suppose to be a lesson too, somewhere.

i just had another fleeting panic.
see learning.
i can't learn a lesson if the one who is paying me says "that's ok"
no! it's not!
it was a fucking job and i'm still not done!

i don't see this right here as a waste of time.
i'm much calmer now.
maybe i won't fuck up.
falling_alone lessons unlearned.
there's a snake head to make.
slowly letting it slip

reareading old words and realizing how uninteresting it all seems, but the fun is in the puzzle of remembrance.

is it wasting time if you are building new memories, conversations
if i count the things left to do i may just hide here longer.
what's it to you?
who go