wasting_time silentbob i wish i wouldnt wase all my time wishing i was with you regretting feeble attempts at maybe convincing you i'm the one that chosen one whose meant to be like spoiled milk i taste like shit even tho you say i taste like sugar and the tail lights flash as i come to a screeching halt stop all this nonsense you're wasting your time you're wasting your tears you're wasting your heart wishing you were with her the clouds swirl like cotton candy i hope you still think i taste as sweet i don't want to write you 10000 love letters if it doesn't mean you'll be with me a cloud of smoke as white as the sky intoxicates my heart the power lines tretch the vacinity of my emotions electricuting me when a ventricle adjoins them you move me. now the blue smoke's plastered across my sky i sense a change going thru my core sitting on the floor staring at blank pages it brings me to tears as i find i can live a little once again i begin to feel like myself again with my grey eyes and my grey smile and soon my grey hair once agin to throw myself back into the race so i think now maybemaybemaybe i can exist with you in the rom maybe it wont hurt a LOT to have you around maybe i can like you and stand not getting to hold you when i want it more than anything i can go on. see? 010107 ... kx21 Any proven ways to waste all the time? 010107 ... nomme making_time spending_time managing_time killing_time working_time biding_time speaking_time closing_time as though we could control which way the earth spins as though we could measure our moments our distances as if we have time 030729 ... the nights child expectation only leads to despair 030730 ... FUCK YOU expectation is a form of hope, without some kind of hope that people will stop pissing on you, you might as well just ask Troy to slice you into small pieces, make some use out of the matter. i don't know what i want to be here for either, i don't mind being used but i'm not the grains in your pestle and mortar so stop trying to disturb me. One day i will become a real schizophrenic and you will have an excuse to try to look after me but until then you can FUCK OFF! 080724 ... ever dumbening so, do i fucking start NOW? 110419 ... falling_alone hello, irresponsibility, i like your frequent panic attacks, and the fact that you've given me a pre-mature grey hair. my boyfriend especially enjoyed that, so much so, he taped it to my computer moniter. i suppose it was a lesson. but i'm still typing. i have 40 minutes to alter another garment. i was supposed to have finished 8 of them. i'm not even half done. that was suppose to be a lesson too, somewhere. i just had another fleeting panic. see learning. i can't learn a lesson if the one who is paying me says "that's ok" no! it's not! it was a fucking job and i'm still not done! i don't see this right here as a waste of time. i'm much calmer now. maybe i won't fuck up. 110419 ... falling_alone lessons unlearned. there's a snake head to make. dont_tell_the_one_you_love_about_blather slowly letting it slip reareading old words and realizing how uninteresting it all seems, but the fun is in the puzzle of remembrance. is it wasting time if you are building new memories, conversations if i count the things left to do i may just hide here longer. 160216 what's it to you? who go blather from