uhane ku oko a MY LIFE AS A CHAMELEON

wake up alone in the middle of the night
who is the stranger in my bed?

it's just me
but this person is a stranger

I don't know who I am
I have no identity
I am a chameleon

whoever you want me to be, I am
whoever I need to be to get by, I am
this is my life as a chameleon, and I am afraid

not myself but you, and him, and her
a million different people:
each attached from behind
each attached to a piece of string
all tied together, knotted and intertwined
a chaotic, tangled mess

completely unaware of each other
all we know is the unknown force that constantly pulls us backward

It is quite disconcerting to discover for the first time that you are not even in control of your own world


Consumed by the belief of an indispensable need for control, I wanted to be strong. I bought into my own unrealistic ideals. Nothing could match such perfection.

If you say it enough times, any word can seem perverse. If you think it enough times, any thought can seem like reality.

"You say you want perfection, I see your self-destruction."

My strength is my deception. Lord know I'm weak. I know now what perfection really is: it's the ENDLESS PURSUIT OF THE UNATTAINABLE

I finally understand
the pandemonium in which I live my life is perfectly fine
I am myself, but not alone
I am myself in that I am a little piece of every one of you, all brought into my mad, mad world for a purpose

we learn from each other, we are all experts in our own experiences

we need to believe that there is a great design behind all this chaos
otherwise how could we stand it, this beautiful lack of control?
beautiful not in deed, but in effect
like beautiful dreadlocked hair

my life as a chameleon is all meshed and dreaded together
the chaos has created a harmony of interlocking strength
and it is beautiful

unhinged i would save a lot of money on shampoo and conditioner... 040322
Aimee not true nicole. If you want to make your hair dread quicker and more efficiently, washing your hair is definitely a must. A clean dread is a happy dread so they say. However, you were partially correct. Conditioner is a dread's worst enemy. One glob of conditioner can ruin a years worth of patient dreading. :) 040323
nomme liked this, uhane ku oko a 040323
uhane ku oko a thanks for the support, nomme dude!

a poetic response would be cool to read... any more words???
ethereal dreads are unbelievably attractive.
when clean.
unhinged i always smiled for you
i wanted to be your everything
but your everything wasn't enough for me
i've come to find
no matter what
i always smiled for you
hoping that it would belie
everything else
cause you were the only thing that could make even part of it go away
or maybe the only human thing
you misunderstood why i stayed
in your arms
the sweetest goodbye
even though it's been a year
i'm still tangled
over you
distance can straighten a crooked heart
uhane ku oko a you say you want perfection
i see your self-destruction

you can't make someone love you
the world is badly made, and unreliable
you'll have to learn to love yourself
Question man I can't get rid of them. I had them for two years and refuse to cut them off! Been tempted quite a few times tho. 070807
hsg dye 'em pink & swing glow sticks! 070807
:-D dipple box family, give me a dwink for fwee. 070808
Question man I hate pink. Black, neon blue and neon green! Give me a mix of the three and throw in some cy-x goggles with biohazard symbols on the lenses maybe, SDL suits are played out, cyberdog is WAY better! 070808
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