innerviews_unhinged_angels frAnk could you talk more about the strong connection with your grandma? 010613 ... kingsuperspecial you don't mean the story about the cheerios and my weewee, do you? 010613 ... unhinged see, you stroking my ego like this and asking me to tell stories might be good for me but bad for the rest of the people that blather here. haha. i love to talk. anyways.... my grandma was a great lady. she always supported me in everything. when i needed a new violin she gave me a lot of money so i could get a good one. she loved to listen to me play even when i was all scratchy and bad in my early years. i used to play in her make-up when i was little. but in february of 98 she got really sick. they found out what was thought to be parkinson's disease was really her liver only functioning at 40%. she had a hard time walking and couldn't do anything by herself. she gradually got better but she was always needing blood transfusions because her liver wasn't doing what it was supposed to. the doctors said that eventually her body would stop accepting the transfusions. about a year after she initially got sick, she was needing blood transfusions more and more and we knew that the time where she would reject them was coming closer. me and my mom always got into fights because i didn't want to go visit her when she was sick. it was because i knew that she didn't want us to sit around and watch her be sick. she didn't like that she was a burden on our family and she always needed someone to take care of her. she wanted us to be out living our lives. i didn't want to watch her die. every weekend i went downtown to youth orchestra rehearsal and this weekend i happened to be leaving for europe because my high school orchestra was going on a tour. me and my mom got into a fight about stopping to see my grandma and we did stop. but i knew that she wasn't there....she was already on her way to heaven. the next morning my grandma died on the sunrise. but i was on my way to the airport so no one told me that she died. on the airplane, i turned to my friend and said 'i don't think that my grandma is going to be there when i get back' we were also in the czech countryside and i saw the sun shining on this little plastic amber cross and i had to by it. my grandma was the only reason i ever went to church. i lit a candle for her when we were in church on easter sunday. i sat down in a church in budapest to pray for her and i just started to cry. her angel was watching over me the entire trip and i didn't even realize it until i got home. exactly 15 months after she died, i tried to kill myself. the only reason that i didn't was because i got really scared. i don't think i got scared because of my own mind but because she was watching over me. this january i got into a real bad car accident. i should have died but i walked away from the car. a lot of people think that angels aren't real. but i know that my grandma flys over all of us. 010613 ... frAnk very fascinating story. it confirms the feelings i have about the real presence of angels. i also walked away from a gnarly car wreck. while it was happening, i felt angelic presence all around me, a cradle of protection as i flipped my car and rolled down an embankment. your connection with your grandma is inspiring. have you had other experiences where you have felt her presence since? 010614 ... unhinged well, she hasn't saved my life lately, but i always have a strong connection with her. whenever i wear a cross around my neck she is there. whenever i close my eyes she is there. whenever i breathe she is there. back in the fall, my college orchestra played death and transfiguration by richard strauss. it's really a beautiful musical depiction of the transformation from life to death. everytime we rehearsed i thought of her. when we actually performed it, i cried. the other night, i picked up my high school poem journal and i read the elegies i wrote for her. she was very close to me then. the only place she isn't close to me is at her grave. 010614 what's it to you? who go blather from