cooking_with_brak brak Hello everybody! Today on Cooking with Brak, we'll be preparing one of our favorite recipes... Space Ghost: The cooking segment is canceled. Brak: What, again? Why? Space Ghost: Remember that last little treat you conjured up? Brak: You mean Brak's pork tartar with halibut gravy surf and turf combo platter? Space Ghost: Right, and do you remember all that messy business with the board of health? Brak: Those board of health guys wouldn't know creative cuisine if it bit 'em! Space Ghost: It did bite 'em. That's why they threw the producer and the GM in jail for reckless endangerment. Executive type guys don't go much for them little adventures. Brak: Hey, what's the big deal? So a few people got a tummy ache. Space Ghost: Tummy ache? The whole crew lost all feeling in their arms and legs!!!!! Brak: Well they're moving around pretty good now! Except for that gaffer guy. Zorak: Poof gaffer. Gee. Tough break. Brak: How was I supposed to know he was allergic to cats? Zorak: I think you're supposed to -cook- the pork. Brak: Now you tell me! 000831 ... brak Brak: Space Ghost... Do you know what I had for supper last night? Space Ghost: What? Brak: Tortellini. Space Ghost: Beef? or Cheese? Brak: Both! Do know what I call tortellini? My tubby little bundles of fun! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello everybody. Today on Cooking With Brak, We'll be preparing Hot Dog Tortellini Or as I like to call it, "Tortel-weenies" To prepare Tortel-weenies, You will need 16 sacks of unbleached flour 3 dozen eggs 5 pounds of butter 300 cocktail weenies 10 quarts of pickle relish A bag of snails And a stomach pump Brak: Now let's get started. Shall we? Space Ghost: The cooking segment is canceled. Brak: What?!? Space Ghost: No more Cooking with Brak on Cartoon Planet. Producer's orders. Brak: But why?!? Space Ghost: Maybe because the last time you cooked, the whole crew ended up in intensive care! Brak: Yep but everybody recovered okay, Except for that audio guy nobody likes anyway. Space Ghost: Well they don't want to take any chances. The cooking segment, is history. Deal with it. Brak: Fine. Alright, I'll deal with it. Just have one little question. WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH 300 COCKTAIL WEENIES? Zorak: Why don't you eat them? Brak: Me? Eat them? Zorak: Yeah! You eat 'em. Brak: Well I'd get sick Zorak: Ah hah! Brak: Ah hah what? Zorak: It's all a secret evil ploy to get us all sick! Brak: Me? Evil? Why that's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Space Ghost: You could be having an episode. Brak: EVIL BRAK. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. ALL HAIL EVIL LORD BRAK! Ga ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Boy! That'd be a hoot and a half. Wa ha ha ha ha ha Zorak: Wow! Brak...There's hope for you yet! Brak: Oh hey! Who put all these weenies here? Zorak: Well on second thought Space Ghost: Short term memory, gets him everytime. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Space Ghost: (burp!) Pardon me. Now it begins. Who all here is evil? Sound off! Zorak: I'm evil. Brak: I'm evil. Zorak: No you are not! Brak: Oh I am too! Zorak: You're as harmless as a baby's..................butt. Space Ghost: Zorak! Zorak: Well he is! Brak: I'm not a baby's butt. Space Ghost: Brak, I'm gonna have to go with Zorak on this one. You simply don't have the mental capacity to be evil. Zorak: See? Brak: I don't get it. Space Ghost: You see Brak you have to be able to come up with... say.... plots against the universe. You have to hatch evil plans to conquer planets And be just plain mean most of the time. Zorak: You're just too nice. Brak: I forget how to be mean. That radiation half lobotomized me. Space Ghost: Hey....I got an idea! Let Zorak teach you, how to be mean! Zorak: Oh man! Do I hafta? Space Ghost: Yes, you hafta! Zorak: Ok Brak. Repeat after me. Space Ghost.... Brak: Space Ghost! Zorak: I will destroy you! Brak: I will destroy you.....If you don't mind. Zorak: I will DESTROY YOU! Brak: I'm sorry, wait. I'll git it. I will destroy you? Zorak: I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!! Brak: Alright! I WILL DESTROY YOU! Zorak: You...and your little dog too! Brak: You...and your little dooooooooooog.... Hey.... I like his dog. Francine is a good puppy. Zorak: No....that was just a threat. Brak: You want to hurt Francine! You're a big bad green...um....sticky guy.... Space Ghost: Bug! Brak: Bug! I don't want you to hurt Francine Space Ghost, do that thingy thing on your arm. Space Ghost: Destructo Ray. Brak: Destructo Ray So he doesn't hurt Francine. Space Ghost: Gladly Brak! My dear old chum. *Space Ghost zaps Zorak with his mighty power bands* Zorak: (cough)...Hey! What'd you do that for? Space Ghost: THAT was for FRANCINE! Hey wait, I don't have a dog. Zorak: Yeah...he he ke ke. Tell me about it. 000831 ... brak Zorak: Uhhhh, Space Ghost... Hey....Hey...Space Ghost! Hey! What are you doin'? Space Ghost: Uh, nothin'....Thinking. Zorak: About what? Space Ghost: Oh! Just...private stuff. Superhero stuff. You wouldn't be interested. Zorak: Sure I would! Space Ghost: No you wouldn't. Zorak: Oh I would! I would! Space Ghost: No I don't think so. Zorak: Tell me! Space Ghost: Drop it! Zorak: Okay. Hey! Do you have any gum? Space Ghost: You know the rules. No gum chewing. Zorak: That's a stupid rule. Space Ghost: No it isn't. Zorak: Yes it is. Space Ghost: If you had a stick of gum right now...what would you go with it? Zorak: Oh I'd chew it and chew it and chew it and chew it until -ALL- the flavor was gone. Space Ghost: Right. And -then- what would you do with it? Zorak: Well let's see. I guess I'd probably throw it on the floor Space Ghost: And ? Zorak: It would get on your shoe. Space Ghost: Exactly. No one, at least, no self respecting person I know Wants to have gum on their shoe. Hence...the rule. Brak: Hey! What are you fellas doing? Zorak: Space Ghost was trying to think about some -stuff- ...And I was bothering him! Brak: What kind of stuff? Space Ghost: Private stuff Brak: Like what? Space Ghost: Well I guess if I told you it wouldn't be private anymore, would it? Brak: Well pardon me Mr. Grumpy Pants. Zorak: Brak, do you have any gum? Brak: No I don't have any. Hey wait a minute. How come you're always asking me if I have any gum? For all the years you've known me, have you ever known me to have any gum? Zorak: So....you don't have any gum I take it. Space Ghost: Even if Brak did have some gum. Neither of you could chew it. Brak: Why not? Zorak: It's a rule. No Gum Chewing. Brak: That's a stupid rule. Hey did you watch Voltron last night? Zorak: Nope, I missed it. Brak: Was it any good? Zorak: I told you I missed it! Brak: I guess...Um...I guess Space Ghost is thinking about private stuff again. Zorak: Oh...He's a thinker alright. 000831 what's it to you? who go blather from