arthritis Strideo "Find Creative Ways to Enjoy Sex and Intimacy Despite Arthritis ..." . 030117 ... megan does cracking your knuckles really give you this? i sure hope not. 030510 ... Ingy Death by arthritis... does it mean anything at all? 030907 ... a nighting gale without its feathers the fire shut up in the my bones, maketh the marrow to scream, maketh a mind to howl such unseemly things, maketh me weak in God's strength. Verily 'tis a soul unbruised, untaught to the ways of a life lived in the smiths forge - and then suddenly to be splayed upon the anvil, to endure these endless hammer blows, this is my body broken for me, this my pennance to be smelted and hammered out of shape endlessly. This is my blood, and I crave the gleaming metals jagged rusty serrated smile, stop up this geyser. Every step is like feeling your bones shatter, like bits and bites of broken things gnawing deep into the derma, each step a grueling toll exacted upon the soul, upon the body broken for me. Ah and how dare I have the impertinence to to sweat these coals, these cold embers, the unthawed blood bled out of me. Look into my eyes then, peer into these empty windows, and all your words of care dance against the panes like stacatto bruises made by the crooked wooden tendrills of a trees' skeletal hand the wind an unseen conductor tapping out some ominous score. And so I will carry this cargo, shift it ungracefully, spavined and lurching through these days framed in fire, closer to what is left to come. There is in me always this ineffable sense of falling.. falling..from and into some pavilion of pain catching fire..(unpliat the entrails of these wretched lines, the sepulchral song..pale..pale can I drown the distance between here and then, me and you, what is to come, skip this endless interegnum, all this dress rehearsal for death. Bone of endless burning embers, fire swollen with each step, grows the gaunlet to the grave. Touch the purpled, mottled violent blooms, violent and violet, a calm and quiet desolation - I am burning beneath my skin, always burning in this body broken for me because of me, hence my humility, and what has it wrought?...I want nothing hidden no more, come now I am ready to behold your face without becoming undone..rend the veils, take no care for my humanity, unbolt the door and let your true nature run amok in me upon me, the wantoness of desolation..I am yours..at last.. 030908 ... oldephebe yea who am i kidding? feathers and all or how 'bout - I crave the serrated kiss of the rusted metals gleeful gleaming smile, here I have made my shallow prints in the snow, sign me a secret, sign me something holy, say it with the elegant poetry of your hands, sign me something sacred, watching you, and the effortless grace of your painterly limbs, and hands, even sitting still you emote the dance - you inhabit my every breath, and all I can do is ache, to break these fire swollen bonds asunder, and then watch what sweet thunder our bodies shall make..arthritis rings the jagged edge of every breath, ...to feel as if every moment your soul is sealed in mist, in this impenetrable fog, these words, this heart, this life..I am depradations daffodil, Child of Blight, bred of the afterbirth acetone of the woman whelped in rage, was there a daddy's bruising back hand, her lovers misbeggoten miscegination, is that inference misplaced, did i mispeak, in trying unravel this unReason, all of this is so insoluble, but then we're talking about arthritis eh? Okay I think I got this. Edie said lay me down by the shallow water, and sean colbin said something like i am unfinished, is there a piece that God left out? Where is the new path to perfect indifference, to perfect acceptance? Has it so quickly petered out? And Becki told me not to be so sensitive lest it permeate my being. Have all the things left untouched, unsaid, unhonored, unlearned meshed into this indefagitable consumation, something so long repressed, it went down down deep into the space behind these unlit eyes, and gathered it's self, shaped it's name, it's place and said if I will not be acknowledged, or atoned then I will at least be felt..is that what this arthritis is? ..in me? 030909 what's it to you? who go blather from