the_art_of_suffering unhinged shades of suffering a river art the boat that gets us safely to the other side shostakovich ivet van_gogh plath brahms ee_cummings postwar communist oppression postindustrial economic depression stoic but ill_minded distortion morbid isolated psychoses tender chivalrous longing satirical humorous devastation at it's best devastatingly beautiful 070106 ... phil misery 070228 ... pSyche learning how to cultivate the scar_garden 070228 ... Lady Lightness cling and ruminate 070529 ... look at yourself i'm not a brick wall and my skin is not so thick... tasting salty water is my release when it gets to much, and tomorrow is another day. 070530 ... unhinged neruda pablo_neruda 090308 ... ruby ache so deep my body is threatening to split in two 090309 ... In_Bloom You can keep it All yours 090309 ... They call me Truth I was watching an episode of Bones, and something someone said impacted me. This Japanese cop lost his sister. She was beheaded and her head was placed on a spike. He was grief stricken. Bones asked him if it was worth it, to have his happiness dependent so much on another human being. And he said: "If I would risk my life for her, why wouldn't I be willing to risk my happiness for her as well." I had to replay that part three times. For a long time I felt like I should come to a point where my happiness, my contentment, my peace was dependent on no one, but then I realized that that very attachment to other people makes me human, makes life beautiful. How could I ever give that up? 090517 ... megan the art of losing isn't hard to master 090518 ... emmi sending out a message in a bottle on the seas of suffering, an S.O.S in coded words, drenched with longing. 090518 ... unhinged that whole 'learn to love yourself first' thing never made any sense to me. it always seemed like a waste of my life and energies to spend it all on myself. what is love if you don't have someone to share it with? happiness comes from sharing the good things, not keeping them all to yourself. 090519 ... jane art_is_suffering 090519 ... misstree every moment i spend artificially aloft is another foot for me to fall when i crumple. 090519 ... misstree I used to be so much better at this. I used to be able to appreciate it, if not enjoy it. Poet's heart has become greyed, paper-thin, not enough to stretch around the edges. I just want it to end. 090521 ... rubydee is there an art? all I feel is raw, skin_and_bones digestive tract screams at every perceived_insult even enteral_nutrition causes the most exquisite_pain. the art is in the mask, smiling through the pain while hearing about my girl's days, snuggling with them & my husband finding tenderness & sweetness through the constant_suffering 121120 ... TCMT As it turns out, I did eventually return to this idea that I would be stronger by myself, that to remove myself from the vulnerability I feel in relationships would make me more self-sufficient, honest, more me. But then I returned back to the idea that people are great because of the bonds they make, even if sometimes it causes them suffering. But I wonder, will the pendulum swing again? Will I someday return to this blathe to disagree with myself? Perhaps. Perhaps all I've been doing all this time is changing my mind. Maybe I need something new to believe in. 131113 ... unhinged human beings are not supposed to be alone. even solitary primates like orangutans find a partner that they pair with for life. don't fight biology; just be smart about who you choose to spend your light on. 131113 what's it to you? who go blather from