fuck_it someone not like you at all you heard me. 011003 ... baby satan an invitation? marvellous! lemme just assume position here... 011004 ... Rhinna ...was the phrase hanging in the air, only moments ago, after I pulled my sweater off and threw it across my office. Yes, I'm at work. I can only handle so much fucking Angora hair attaching itself to my lips! Now, clad only in blue jeans and a bra, I'm freezing! Fuck it. I'm in a rotten mood, and I'm beginning to whine, and that irritates me even more, so I'll just stop here. 011101 ... Jenna "I once asked a Jesuit priest, I asked him 'What's the shortest prayer in the world?' And he said 'Fuck it,'" -Anthony Hopkins (thanks Grant, although I may be stealing your thunder...I just fucking dig that quote.) 011101 ... ~Channa~ why do i do this to myself? what the fuck is wrong with me, that i stress myself out at every opportunity, surrounding myself with more than i can ever handle, eventually ending with crying myself to sleep for a while, and life continuing on as usual... life is shit. there is no way out, but death, and goddamnit, i dont want to die because theres too much out there for me to do. i want to do so many things...and whats holding me back? well, life is! fuck. fuck. fuck. i want so many things--travel, to see things i havnt seen to be held by you closely-and to be told with meaning that youll never let me go. but even then-- things change, and i dont know if ill be content to not barge in on your life more than youd like me to. i wish i wasnt so needy. god i hate money. i hate its essence, the requirement that i must pass around this sickly, diseased piece of shit that i have to work my soul out to get. im so frustrated, and theres no way out of it for me. hot tears from a hot head. it wont end, and i know that. what the fuck am i doing? fuck it. 020520 ... celestias shadow the easiest thing in the world to say. which is why it means nothing anymore. 030922 ... misstree naw, there's a big difference between saying it and meaning it. it's easy to say you don't give a shit, but to actually *not care* is a much different matter. there's a quote from steven_brust's book Agyar that i'm going to paraphrase horribly: "strength doesn't come from passion, it comes from not caring. if a lover says to you, 'do this or i'll leave you,' and you honestly don't care if they leave you, you have the power, it's that simple. [he then lists two other situations that i forget, right at the moment]. now, it may be that the lover wants to leave you and [the other stuff], but if you can say 'i don't care,' that is a strength they can never take away. "of course, you must mean it." 030922 ... x twisted x "...we have this strength inside of us and yet we are taught to always sort of keep it down. I sort of found in my life that I’ve taken a step back and made myself smaller in order to try to fit in. And that hasn’t worked. And we have to learn to kind of embrace what makes us unique, and embrace our strength and then if people don’t like it, fuck it." -Idina Menzel 060122 ... unhinged today i realized i cried everyday for almost two months because of you. i was terrified after the_day_you_died regardless of the fact that you came back to life. i was terrified when i didn't hear from you. i put my life on hold. seriously today was the first day i didn't cry in almost TWO goddamn months. you don't get to tell me i'm wrong for giving a fuck anymore. you don't get to tell me that i should be anything other than what i am. 100914 ... Strideo "Fuck it!" "The ultimate expression to tell yourself to let go of all expectations." ... 100914 ... Doar just fuck it 101224 ... h|s|g fuck_it_the_ultimate_spiritual_way 110212 what's it to you? who go blather from