what_am_i_doing_with_my_life yummychuckle I talked to Jake today-- he is this guys nephew visiting from Kansas... sometimes you just click with someone...anyway he just seems to understand more than me (about this whole life thing) and gives me such simple answers to my problems. And they make so much sense..and maybe I should listen. and I wish I had more time to hang out with him. what am i doing? None of what i'm doing will help me in the furture! Maybe I'll live past this and regret what I did, but thats not much help. I'm not affecting the future me positively. I should jus forget all this nonsense and work on affecting something in this world. but its too hard sometimes. I'd much rather dawdle in my shallow worries and unimportant nonexistent problems. I'm more of a live for today kinda person, but not in a positive way. is anyone hearing me? do I ever make anyone happy? I mean really happy. 010624 ... Casey We hear...but in some cases making some of us happy is impossible 010624 ... yummychuckle thanks for listening 010624 ... dB It's not that we don't listen. Just sometimes you don't know what to say. Here is a quote I found from some site today. It's kinda useless, but soothing at the same time: "I give you what little wisdom, I have. From time to time, you will make mistakes. They are inevitable. Sometimes, those mistakes will be huge. What matters is that you learn from them. There is nothing wrong with falling down, as long as you end up just two inches taller, when you pick yourself off the floor. At times, you may end far away from home. You may not be sure of where you belong anymore more. Home is always there, because home is not a place. It is where ever your passion takes you. As you continue on your path, you will lose some friends and gain some new ones. The process is painful, but often necessary. They will change and you will change, because life is change. From time to time, they must find their own way, and that way may not be yours. Enjoy them for what they are and remember them for what they were. There is not much left. Except, I believe, I really do believe that sooner or later, no matter what happens, things do work out. Well we have hard times. We suffer. We lose loved ones. The road is never easy. It was never meant to be easy, but in the long road, if you stay true to what you believe, things do work out. Always be willing to fight for what you believe in. It doesn't matter if thousand people agree with you or one person agrees with you. It doesn't matter if you stand completely alone. Fight for what you believe. Which brings me to the ... the first piece of advice my dad gave me and now I am giving to you; 'Never start a fight, but always finish it.'" I dunno. It seemed appropriate somehow. 010624 ... factory reject besides wasting it? 050928 ... unhinged it was pointed out to me yesterday that at least i got a higher education in something i enjoy; but now i have the pressure of actually making a career out of that. which is quite limited and will only become more so the more this country goes down the toilet. practicality or passion; it seems like the two rarely mix. and at this point, i wish i'd been a little more practical if for no other reason than to get my fucking family off my back. 050929 ... stork daddy yeah i pointed that out. and i meant it! 050929 ... unhinged well at least you won't have to carve out a meager existence for yourself while listening to your entire family bitch about it the whole time. blah i need the fuck out of here now yesterday NOW 050929 ... stork daddy yeah. that's true. but i have to smile the whole time while i'm entertaining thoughts of jumping off a bridge. 050929 ... unhinged eh, i realize what an ass i sound like. we could hold hands and jump together. 050929 ... fal i just bought a bunch of blank tee shirts that i'm going to design on and sell for much more than they are worth 051020 what's it to you? who go blather from