on_my_own andrea i fooled myself 2 years ago into believing that i had burst out of my cocoon & spread my wings so they could shimmer in the sun & gleam under the moonlight as i made my dreams my own & my destiny a question i had to answer but now, i find myself once again stuck wrapped tight smothered to a point & so i have to struggle again for a rebirth of myself & my freedom until i am once more on my own copyright 2000 000531 ... lost wow. That pretty much sums up my life so far. 010425 ... josie a song rewinds and repeats in my head, the backing starved for words to be admitted to. And i don't know why. Maybe some adolescent plea for attention, maybe some desperate journey into my emotional warehouse to find what will playback nicely. i've never seen the musical, i'll never feel the reality. 020510 ... broken cherry I always said I was never any good when left on my own. My head can't handle itself. I can't fight off the pain when I'm alone. Maybe haveing someone constantly by my side was good, in part. The pavements don't shine like silver for me. 020804 ... josie ..all alone, i walk with him till morning. 020814 ... blown cherry without him I feel his arms around me and when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me 020814 ... josie but in the rain, (i have photos to prove it) they always shine like silver.. 020814 ... blown cherry but who am I kidding? I'm not really on my own, I guess sometimes my mind just drags it's feet a little, but you're always there to catch me if I ever feel as though I'm about to slip off the kerb. 020816 ... josie slip 020825 ... fucked once too often think about it really think about what every line every word every syllable resounding in my body would have meant to me every day every hour for the best part of a year my body defensless to the music my emotions at war with my mind for control of the lyrics old habits die hard old associations not easliy put to rest 021109 ... Elzbieta In the end, that's all I am... or am I? 021110 ... p2 And now I'm all alone again Nowhere to turn, no one to go to Without a home, without a friend Without a face to say hello to And now the night is near, and I can make Believe he's here. Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping. I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping The city goes to bed And I can live inside my head. On my own Pretending he's beside me. All alone I walk with him till morning Without him I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way I close my eyes And he has found me. In the rain the pavement shines like silver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me for ever and forever. And I know it's only in my mind That I'm talking to myself and not to him And although I know that he is blind Still I say there's a way for us. I love him But when the night is over He is gone, the river's just a river Without him the world around me changes The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of stangers. I love him But everyday I'm learning All my life I've only been pretending Without me his world will go on turning A world that's full of happiness that I have Never known. I love him, I love him. - Eponine (Les Miserables) 021111 ... p2 And now I'm all alone again Nowhere to turn, no one to go to Without a home, without a friend Without a face to say hello to And now the night is near, and I can make Believe he's here. Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping. I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping The city goes to bed And I can live inside my head. On my own Pretending he's beside me. All alone I walk with him till morning Without him I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way I close my eyes And he has found me. In the rain the pavement shines like silver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me for ever and forever. And I know it's only in my mind That I'm talking to myself and not to him And although I know that he is blind Still I say there's a way for us. I love him But when the night is over He is gone, the river's just a river Without him the world around me changes The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of stangers. I love him But everyday I'm learning All my life I've only been pretending Without me his world will go on turning A world that's full of happiness that I have Never known. I love him, I love him. I love him, but only on my own. - Eponine (Les Miserables) 021111 ... shower singer i'm just shit my myself. Being single is fine, i'm used to that. It's just being alone at home, I can't handle it. I get restless and nervous and fidgety and paranoid. And then i start getting that desperate edge to my voice. I start chewing on my own brain. 041227 what's it to you? who go blather from